For some reasons, a year ending has never made me reflective. I always feel like my heart is sprinkled with pastel joy from December until the first few days of January. It is the time of rest, no, not really. It is the time of doing and travelling a lot, but not for salary, but for dear friends and family.

When the calendar leaf shifts from the last month of a finished year to the first one of a fresh new one, this is when I drown in nostalgia and melancholy. This is when I pause and ponder. This is when I sink into this familiar abyss of the unknown drowning me with questions like what have I done, what will I do next, why did I do this, how should I do this, how can I do this, and more.

As steady as the ebb and flow of the sea, my overthinking overpowers me every January. Perhaps because it is my birth month. Perhaps because it is another clean slate. And how carefully we carry things that are new and shiny, right? But perhaps, this feeling of being lost will be sweeter when the answers are found. This soft petal of fear will bear fruit as my roots sink deeper into this life’s fleeting ground. Perhaps.

Endings breathe restart,
these feet hang high yet again.
A new tough seed cracks.

01.07.2019
©2019 Rosemawrites@A Reading Writer. All Rights Reserved.
Photo via Unsplash
For dVerse Beginning (again) – Haibun .

Published by areadingwriter

I read because I write. | I write because I read.

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36 Comments

  1. We ponder the imponderables at the beginning of a new year. I love your tough seed cracking. In growing things, we see hope – the endless cycles of death and rebirth.

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  2. Deepening the ponder to get to life’s answers, this is just precious. Happy New Year. Thanks for dropping by my blog

    Much🎆love

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I think it’s great the holidays are a “pastel” time for you (cool word to use) for enjoying family and friends and the time, overall. Then one can reflect and get all thoughtful, mopey, what have you. I can chide myself for not doing more, but I know I’m not doing nothing. You do a great deal, sister. I know that, and I hope you can appreciate that, too.

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    1. You noticed the little things, brother, and for that I am really really grateful. Thank you for your reassuring words. I am reading your poems — the breaths of your heart — and I know you are doing a lot, as well. Inside. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Apologies for the late reading. I posted mine….then got to the chore of packing etc as we flew to San Diego yesterday from Boston and are now here in a rental for two months to escape some of Boston’s winter.
    I enjoyed your haibun very much….most especially these words: “And how carefully we carry things that are new and shiny, right?” It’s true…when something is new we treat it carefully….enjoy its newness. There is so much to be done with this new year…..so many ways to turn the prism to look at this year and see positives and see what needs refocusing.

    Liked by 1 person

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