i am still here

20171012_112933

i am still here,
juggling balls named
work, poetry, and life.

i am still here,
trying hard to tally
the shifting of day and nights.

i am still here,
working ceaselessly to support
those who matter.

i am still here,
resuscitating the heart
of a hopeless dreamer.

i am still here,
lurking in between the blank pages
filled with waiting words.

i am still here,
discovering and hunting
this fleeting life’s worth.

i am still here
to write, to breathe.

i hope, you are
still there.

10.25.2017
©2017 Rosemawrites@A Reading Writer. All Rights Reserved.
Photo of me in Phuket, Thailand

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ending agony (WQW)

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I’m participating (finally) for the first time to my dearie Jade‘s Writer’s Quote Wednesday (WQW) and my first quote is from the Still I Rise woman, Maya Angelou and her words that have been “the force” that pushed me to write this blog almost three years ago. (Woah! Time flies! :D)

In my first post, Agony published August 28, 2014, I quoted her and said:

“It has been eight years since I dreamed of having a blog. Something I can call my own. Honestly, I have fears of bashers and grammar Nazis. People who might critique my write-ups. People who might oppose my opinions. Yes, it took me those long years to have the courage to publish my thoughts, my views and my what-not’s. Now it will be all available for the viewing and reading netizens. I am now ready for either praises or rejections, for either wow! or boo!, for anything that this blogosphere has in store for A Reading Writer like me.”

I closed the first post with: “Now my agony has ended.”

Fast forward almost three years after pressing that publish button, I am clearly far from the blogger who I was before. I’m just a reader before. A book reviewer. A fangirl of Nicholas Sparks and Mitch Albom and Jason Mraz and Sara Bareilles.

Now, I am still a reader. Still a fangirl. Still a dreamer. But now, a poetess (or I assume I am :D), a self-published author of my first baby “Between My Bleeding Lines” (a struggling one for that matter), a writer by profession and by hobby.

Has the agony ended? In telling my story, not yet.

For each day opens up a new poem. A new story. A new blank page. A new clean slate. A new struggle. A new battle. A new courage. A refilled bottle of bravery.

To write.
To live.
To dream.
To breathe (words).

For there is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.

Let’s breathe some more, shall we?

booms and bangs

boom!
crumbles the church the city prayed.

bang!
rings the house of an old friend.

boom!
explodes a truck, bodies sprayed.

bang!
runs peace, hope, in a rushed parade.

between the booms, bangs
i plead above
let this bad dream be
cursed and damned.

This is a fictional poem inspired by the still unending war in Marawi, the only Islamic city in the Philippines. I can never fathom the reasons of these groups in killing not just lives but the hopes, the future of the children left clueless and helpless in the middle of this war. May peace blossom again in this corner of my country.

08.15.2017
©2017 Rosemawrites@A Reading Writer. All Rights Reserved.
Photo via Unsplash

In response to Quadrille #38 by whimsygizmo.

Today, I want us to DREAM together.

homebound

i have wandered far
from Your loving bay,
i believed alone i
can pave my own way.

step one, two, then three
i walked away slowly
from Your presence like
a bird breaking free.

not knowing never have
You locked me inside
of Your words and light,
my God, bring me back.

08.02.2017
©2017 Rosemawrites@A Reading Writer. All Rights Reserved.
Photo via Unsplash

back and forth

sometimes i am a
relentless, untiring,
wave ebbing and
flowing to the
shore, back and
forth, back and
forth.

but today i am
transforming and
evaporating from
the sea to the
sky, yes, i have
surrendered and
turned myself into
a possessive sun.

kindness and
attention are
now my rays that
i won’t let you kiss and
have anymore for
i am tired, tired, tired,

of going back
and forth, back
and forth, without
receiving what i
always give.

love.

07.20.2017
©2017 Rosemawrites@A Reading Writer. All Rights Reserved.
Photo via Unsplash

Confessions, ramblings, and everything in between

Over an hour. That is how long I have been staring at my screen flashing an unfinished article I should finish before the day ends.

Eight tabs. That’s how many articles and resources I have read to be able to start writing and get my mind do what it’s supposed to do.

Numerous words written and deleted. That’s how I have been trying (badly) to write and write and write.

But nothing. My mind is not at it.

Like a boat freely sailing, wandering, on the vastness of the endless sea, my mind seems to be here but nowhere, here but elsewhere. It would be ungrateful to say I feel like a criminal jailed to be stuck in my office chair but that’s how I have been feeling lately.

It took me years to land a job related to my course, Journalism. I have been here for almost three years now and yes, it is fulfilling, tiring, but exciting. But there are days when you want to be as free as a bird. To be a writer tucked under her blanket just reading and writing.

It might be because of age but lately, I have been yearning for a simpler life. A life in a quaint house, by the sea and near the forest where I can wander and wonder. A life without a rushed phase. A life not limited by deadlines. A life not commanded by corporate bosses.

But that kind of life, as simple as it may sound, is too expensive. Expensive because you need money while living a life away from the city and the 9-to-5 job. Because I have responsibilities, and I have a life that isn’t only about me.

It’s been almost two months since I released my debut book, and I am quietly wishing and praying for its success because I dream to be like Lang Leav. Living in New Zealand, writing. But the road to becoming like her seems foggy and bumpy. Am I losing faith? Maybe.

I may not be hungry to make millions for my book, but I am dreaming of living a life as a writer. A creative one. Not someone locked inside a corporate box. But then as the eldest daughter, I got to move. I got to earn. For the family.

How can I pursue my passion and provide for the family? That I have yet to find out. And yes, I am trying to knock doors and windows to turn my dreams into reality.

Like what Ms. Maya Angelou told me again last week, “All great achievements require time.” I need patience and endurance. But most of all faith.

Faith that my time will come. Faith that my book’s time will come. Faith that everything happens for a reason. Faith that no time is wasted. Faith in things I cannot see as of the moment. Faith that He is moving and guiding me.

Easier said than done, I’m trying. Every single day.

For now, let me get back and write the article I need to finish today.

 

Alarm

the noisy alarm dings,
like the starting bell of boxing,
another fight,
another day,
begins.

with the routine task
of waking,
eating,
commuting,
working,
eating,
working,
commuting,
eating,
sleeping,
repeat,
repeat,
repeat,

may I not lost
my value,
my worth,
my purpose,
my dreams,

under the haystack
of mundanes
in the world of
routines,

before my life’s
final alarm
rings.

I wanna go where the mountains are high enough to echo my song
I wanna go where the rivers run deep enough to drown my shame
I wanna go where the stars shine bright enough to show me the way
I wanna go where the wind calls my name

05.31.2017
©2017 Rosemawrites@A Reading Writer. All Rights Reserved.
Photo via Unsplash

NOW AVAILABLE for Pre-Order: Between My Bleeding Lines Kindle Edition

BLEEDING LINES

To celebrate the first month of my baby Between My Bleeding Lines, I am excited to announce that its Kindle Edition will be out on June 10 and is now available for pre-orders here

I understand shipping costs and the book’s cost can be too pricey so here is an ebook which is more pocket-friendly. 😉

Between My Bleeding Lines is a collection of 100 free verse poems about love, loss, and finding yourself in the process.

The art of loving, the pain of losing, and the beauty of healing are shown in the book’s three chapters: For Granted, Forgotten and Forbearer.

Thank you to those who bought their copies already! (ehem, Davy D. :D) If you won’t mind please share a photo with me and if it is not too much to ask please leave a review on Amazon and Goodreads.

Please spread the word! ❤

Thank you!

FLYLēF turns 2!

And the baby of my darling Lonna named FLYLēF just turned 2! To celebrate, an amazing group of bloggers and I have planned posts for you to enjoy, all centered around the theme…

FRIENDSHIP

Please make sure to visit them, and perhaps make a new friend along the way.

 FRIENDSHIP 

I am delighted when I learned the theme of Lonna’s anniversary blog tour is about friendship. Why? Because I value friendships a lot. 

In as much as I want to think, I am not so good in making friends, but I am good in maintaining them. I have kept some friends from my elementary, high school and college days. I can also say I am still friends with my co-workers from my two previous jobs. And I intend to keep them.

I know there is strength in living alone. In doing things on your own, but I find it comforting to have souls to share, experience and learn with. 

My upcoming book, Between My Bleeding Lines, is a product of friendship. If not for the great writers here whom I become friends with, I would never be the writer that I am today. I would never be able to be brave and be courageous and write my own book. Got to give some shout out for them:

Between My Bleeding Lines and this blog exists because of them my faraway best friends.  That I think is enough proof of how valuable friendships are for me. 

 TESTIMONIAL  

And of course, Lonna is part of the WordPress community who showered me with love and fueled me to write and write some more. 

I remember seeing her blog for the first time and falling in love with her graphics and her book reviews. She writes so well that she can make you run to a bookstore and go check out a book. She balances the good and the not so good part of the book in between beautifully crafted yet truthful lines. 

But aside from that, I adore her bubbly personality and kind heart. ❤ She never fails to make me smile and warm my heart. Cheers, darling, for more years! ❤ 

  TOUR SCHEDULE  

❖ May 15th – Bookfever: Spotlight / Giveaway

❖ May 15th – A Reader Writer: Spotlight / Giveaway

❖ May 16th – Milky Way of Books: Spotlight / Giveaway

❖ May 16th – Lisa Loves Literature: Spotlight / Giveaway

❖ May 20th – A Kernel of Nonsense: Spotlight / Giveaway

❖ May 21th – SUSANLOVESBOOKS: Spotlight / Giveaway

❖ May 23th – fallxnrobins: Spotlight / Giveaway

❖ May 27th – Utopia State of Mind: Spotlight / Giveaway

❖ May 28th – Book Briefs: Spotlight / Giveaway

❖ May 30th – Foxes & Fairy Tales: Spotlight / Giveaway

❖ June 1st – The Caramel Files: Spotlight / Giveaway

  ABOUT FLYLēF  

Lonna Yen the creative mind behind FLYLēF (pronounced like flyleaf) who enjoys reading late into the night to satisfy her insatiable addiction to mostly young adult and adult novels: romance (contemporary and historical), fantasy, and paranormal (especially vampires). She believes in the magic of spellbinding words coming together to build breathtaking worlds in our minds’ eyes. Happiness is just a book away, find it at FLYLēF.

Lonna also the host of FLYTIP and Book of Choice Giveaway Hop, and co-host of The Comment Challenge.

Between My Bleeding Lines Now LIVE in Amazon!

BLEEDING LINES

My baby is here! Between My Bleeding Lines is now available in Amazon and Createspace! Please see the following links:

Between My Bleeding Lines is a collection of 100 free verse poems about love, loss, and finding yourself in the process.

The art of loving, the pain of losing, and the beauty of healing are shown in the book’s three chapters: For Granted, Forgotten and Forbearer.