ending agony (WQW)

Quotefancy-27766-3840x2160

I’m participating (finally) for the first time to my dearie Jade‘s Writer’s Quote Wednesday (WQW) and my first quote is from the Still I Rise woman, Maya Angelou and her words that have been “the force” that pushed me to write this blog almost three years ago. (Woah! Time flies! :D)

In my first post, Agony published August 28, 2014, I quoted her and said:

“It has been eight years since I dreamed of having a blog. Something I can call my own. Honestly, I have fears of bashers and grammar Nazis. People who might critique my write-ups. People who might oppose my opinions. Yes, it took me those long years to have the courage to publish my thoughts, my views and my what-not’s. Now it will be all available for the viewing and reading netizens. I am now ready for either praises or rejections, for either wow! or boo!, for anything that this blogosphere has in store for A Reading Writer like me.”

I closed the first post with: “Now my agony has ended.”

Fast forward almost three years after pressing that publish button, I am clearly far from the blogger who I was before. I’m just a reader before. A book reviewer. A fangirl of Nicholas Sparks and Mitch Albom and Jason Mraz and Sara Bareilles.

Now, I am still a reader. Still a fangirl. Still a dreamer. But now, a poetess (or I assume I am :D), a self-published author of my first baby “Between My Bleeding Lines” (a struggling one for that matter), a writer by profession and by hobby.

Has the agony ended? In telling my story, not yet.

For each day opens up a new poem. A new story. A new blank page. A new clean slate. A new struggle. A new battle. A new courage. A refilled bottle of bravery.

To write.
To live.
To dream.
To breathe (words).

For there is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.

Let’s breathe some more, shall we?

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what if?

as death is as normal as birth,
one day my ink will meet
its fading the end.
what if this poem is my last?
what if? what if?
what last lines would i want to leave?
what if? what if?
what final rhymes would i want to breathe?
what if? what if?

would i want to write
a heartfelt villanelle
to glorify the God
who made me well,
to thank the imperfect
yet loving parents
who compensated money with
their love and presence?

would i want to write
a throbbing aubade
to the he’s whom
i have loved?
fill every stanza
with bitter farewells
and warm kisses
they have forever missed out?

would i want to leave
a sweet, sweet sonnet
to the one man
who’ll have me last,
stamp every rhyme
and every line
with the promise of meeting again
inside heaven’s confines?

or would i want to leave
a freely flowing free verse,
about a life well lived
in better and in worse,
etch my last words
with gratefulness
and contentment,
for either way, i’m blessed.

what if this poem is my last?
i think i would be smiling if
this poem would be my parting gift
to those who have loved me
and i have loved unconditionally.

if this is the end for me and my poetry,
then i will park my pen,
beside my final lines and rhymes,
and then, rest peacefully.

08.02.2017
©2017 Rosemawrites@A Reading Writer. All Rights Reserved.
Photo via Unsplash

sneaked in some time to post this poem after my looong hiatus. the lines:

what if this poem is my last?
what if? what if?
what last lines would i want to leave?
what if? what if?
what final rhymes would i want to breathe?
what if? what if?

are inspired by a poem by Davy D. i have a big event (at work) tomorrow and i dropped by to tell you all guys that I miss WordPress because of you all. as soon work calms a bit, i’ll go back. ❤ please don’t forget me. 🙂 Much love!


In response to The End paul scribbles.
This evening I want you to think about ‘THE END.’
dverse

Confessions, ramblings, and everything in between

Over an hour. That is how long I have been staring at my screen flashing an unfinished article I should finish before the day ends.

Eight tabs. That’s how many articles and resources I have read to be able to start writing and get my mind do what it’s supposed to do.

Numerous words written and deleted. That’s how I have been trying (badly) to write and write and write.

But nothing. My mind is not at it.

Like a boat freely sailing, wandering, on the vastness of the endless sea, my mind seems to be here but nowhere, here but elsewhere. It would be ungrateful to say I feel like a criminal jailed to be stuck in my office chair but that’s how I have been feeling lately.

It took me years to land a job related to my course, Journalism. I have been here for almost three years now and yes, it is fulfilling, tiring, but exciting. But there are days when you want to be as free as a bird. To be a writer tucked under her blanket just reading and writing.

It might be because of age but lately, I have been yearning for a simpler life. A life in a quaint house, by the sea and near the forest where I can wander and wonder. A life without a rushed phase. A life not limited by deadlines. A life not commanded by corporate bosses.

But that kind of life, as simple as it may sound, is too expensive. Expensive because you need money while living a life away from the city and the 9-to-5 job. Because I have responsibilities, and I have a life that isn’t only about me.

It’s been almost two months since I released my debut book, and I am quietly wishing and praying for its success because I dream to be like Lang Leav. Living in New Zealand, writing. But the road to becoming like her seems foggy and bumpy. Am I losing faith? Maybe.

I may not be hungry to make millions for my book, but I am dreaming of living a life as a writer. A creative one. Not someone locked inside a corporate box. But then as the eldest daughter, I got to move. I got to earn. For the family.

How can I pursue my passion and provide for the family? That I have yet to find out. And yes, I am trying to knock doors and windows to turn my dreams into reality.

Like what Ms. Maya Angelou told me again last week, “All great achievements require time.” I need patience and endurance. But most of all faith.

Faith that my time will come. Faith that my book’s time will come. Faith that everything happens for a reason. Faith that no time is wasted. Faith in things I cannot see as of the moment. Faith that He is moving and guiding me.

Easier said than done, I’m trying. Every single day.

For now, let me get back and write the article I need to finish today.

 

Naked

strip me slowly,
it’s fine, i’m ready,
for you.

in your lines, take me
mind, heart, soul, wholly,
not few.

for i’m the real me
when you, poetry
leaks through.

06.09.2017
©2017 Rosemawrites@A Reading Writer. All Rights Reserved.
Photo via Unsplash

In response to Lai It On! –dVerse MTB Victoria C. Slotto.
This is Victoria, today asking you to write a Lai. Yes, it’s pronounced “lay,” an old French poetry form that was used to tell tales of adventure and courage using octosyllabic lines.
dverse

FLYLēF turns 2!

And the baby of my darling Lonna named FLYLēF just turned 2! To celebrate, an amazing group of bloggers and I have planned posts for you to enjoy, all centered around the theme…

FRIENDSHIP

Please make sure to visit them, and perhaps make a new friend along the way.

 FRIENDSHIP 

I am delighted when I learned the theme of Lonna’s anniversary blog tour is about friendship. Why? Because I value friendships a lot. 

In as much as I want to think, I am not so good in making friends, but I am good in maintaining them. I have kept some friends from my elementary, high school and college days. I can also say I am still friends with my co-workers from my two previous jobs. And I intend to keep them.

I know there is strength in living alone. In doing things on your own, but I find it comforting to have souls to share, experience and learn with. 

My upcoming book, Between My Bleeding Lines, is a product of friendship. If not for the great writers here whom I become friends with, I would never be the writer that I am today. I would never be able to be brave and be courageous and write my own book. Got to give some shout out for them:

Between My Bleeding Lines and this blog exists because of them my faraway best friends.  That I think is enough proof of how valuable friendships are for me. 

 TESTIMONIAL  

And of course, Lonna is part of the WordPress community who showered me with love and fueled me to write and write some more. 

I remember seeing her blog for the first time and falling in love with her graphics and her book reviews. She writes so well that she can make you run to a bookstore and go check out a book. She balances the good and the not so good part of the book in between beautifully crafted yet truthful lines. 

But aside from that, I adore her bubbly personality and kind heart. ❤ She never fails to make me smile and warm my heart. Cheers, darling, for more years! ❤ 

  TOUR SCHEDULE  

❖ May 15th – Bookfever: Spotlight / Giveaway

❖ May 15th – A Reader Writer: Spotlight / Giveaway

❖ May 16th – Milky Way of Books: Spotlight / Giveaway

❖ May 16th – Lisa Loves Literature: Spotlight / Giveaway

❖ May 20th – A Kernel of Nonsense: Spotlight / Giveaway

❖ May 21th – SUSANLOVESBOOKS: Spotlight / Giveaway

❖ May 23th – fallxnrobins: Spotlight / Giveaway

❖ May 27th – Utopia State of Mind: Spotlight / Giveaway

❖ May 28th – Book Briefs: Spotlight / Giveaway

❖ May 30th – Foxes & Fairy Tales: Spotlight / Giveaway

❖ June 1st – The Caramel Files: Spotlight / Giveaway

  ABOUT FLYLēF  

Lonna Yen the creative mind behind FLYLēF (pronounced like flyleaf) who enjoys reading late into the night to satisfy her insatiable addiction to mostly young adult and adult novels: romance (contemporary and historical), fantasy, and paranormal (especially vampires). She believes in the magic of spellbinding words coming together to build breathtaking worlds in our minds’ eyes. Happiness is just a book away, find it at FLYLēF.

Lonna also the host of FLYTIP and Book of Choice Giveaway Hop, and co-host of The Comment Challenge.

Between My Bleeding Lines’ Readers: Mah Lima

Note to Self

image

There’s no point in looking outside for things you should have inside. It will only bring you harm. Don’t put your happiness in a stranger’s hand. No matter how long you’ve been with someone, unless you’re both open to it, you never really know them. And even when they are, you still don’t. So how can you let them guide you and follow blindly? Communication is key. Respect is foundation. Commitment is basic. Love? Love is like the cherry on the top. Or you really thought all of the couples you know that have been together for so long were so because of “love”? No, my dear. They’re together because they want to, because there’s those three things and a thousand more reasons to stay. Nowadays it’s harder and harder to find people willing to stay. So when you do, when you finally feel good with yourself and find that one person that stays throughout all seasons, you stay. It’s probably new to you and everything inside you tells you to leave, but don’t run away. Stay true to yourself, open and honest. Talk to them and listen. Respect them and commit. And when asked, tell people you’ve found love because, in the end, isn’t that what love is?

© Máh Lima


The last but definitely not the least of my girls is Mah from Brazil who writes with heart tugging simplicity, and awe-mazing honesty. If you need the *feeeeeels* go check out her lovely and colorful and amaaazing gallery! ❤

My hun Mah did not suggest edits, she said she just cried and pondered and cried all throughout the book. And for me, that is more than enough. (i am such a bad best friend haha).

Thank youuuu, hun! Happy to have you with me in each and every milestone! Loooove you big time!

(As the release of my BETWEEN MY BLEEDING LINES nears (this month!), I would like to feature the amazing writers who guided me (technically and morally) all through out this nine-month journey. I am blessed to have them.)

Come In

more often than not,
i find myself tucked
in between
crumpled sheets
of bed
and book
inside a well-lit
room,
with a cuppa
black and hot
coffee
on the side,
paired with a blank
page
waiting, expecting
for the sudden flow of
ink,
as i breathe in
and out
words.

come in,
join my community
of letters,
commas,
periods,
lines,
and rhymes.

with words, we are never alone.

04.26.2017
©2017 Rosemawrites@A Reading Writer. All Rights Reserved.
Photo via Unsplash

In response to dVerse‘s Community by paul scribbles.
Today, write us a postcard poem.
Hello everyone, this is Paul welcoming you to the bar on my first night as an ‘official’ member of the team.
Thank You All for affording me such a warm invitation into this community of poets.
I am honored and humbled in equal measure.
So it is with no surprise then that my first official bar prompt for this Tuesday Poetics night is to be ‘Community.’

dverse

READS: The Writer’s Guide to Poetry

For the nth time, I said for me, “writing is like breathing with words”. But as I read more and more and write more and more, I realize there is so much learning to do to be able to “breathe” better.

As Stephen King said in his awesome book On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft, “If you don’t have time to read, you don’t have the time (or the tools) to write. Simple as that.”

Confession time: Since November, I have not finished a single book after finishing 60 from January to October 2016. I am on a reading block but I have not stopped reading poetry. I read some works of Maya Angelou, Charles Bukowski, Emily Dickinson and I promise myself I will read more.

Because I want to grow in this word-made field of poetry. I want to write better. I want to breathe better.

Then recently, I received an email about this awesome poetry guide titled The Writer’s Guide to Poetry by Signature, Knopf and Penguin Random House.

In it you’ll find:

  • Insights from 11 award-winning poets.
  • Advice on how to overcome imposter syndrome.
  • 3 classic poems illustrated by artist Nathan Gelgud.
  • Anne Lamott on the devils of perfectionism.
  • Important tips on “telling it slant.”
  • And more.

I will be reading this book this Lenten Break and if you want to get your copy visit here.

Happy reading and writing, my darlings! ❤

April Coffee Date

Hello, my darlings! 🙂 I just figured that the last coffee date I posted was last November. (ugh).

I so missed doing this, so please grab a chair. 🙂 I prepared a cuppa coffee, tea, or beer (if you want. :D)

CALM MARCH

Finally, after epic roller coaster monthssssss, March has been so kind to me. 🙂 I was able to write for my two favorite prompts:

I was also able to join several tags (which I loooved a lot! :D) I miss doing Three Line Tales though. 😦

HOPEFULLY KINDER APRIL

With the summer kicking off, I am hoping April will be as kind or even kinder to me! 😀 Because I want to continue with dVerse and FFfAW plus, I signed up to NaPoWrimo! (Except the weekend prompts because I am mostly offline on weekends. :()

BOOK UPDATE

Finally, I plan to do the TITLE REVEAL of my upcoming debut book this month. 🙂 (It’s been months since I started with this project and I am excited to share this with you, guys! <3)

It’s your turn! What are your writing/blogging/anything plans for April! Will you join NaPo, too? 😀

 

The Painting

I asked my mom this morning about the almost burnt painting I saw last week in our attic. Its main subject is a woman dressed in glamor and elegance. She looked like me and my mommy but I am quite sure she is not my granny.

To my surprise, mom turned pale and then sad and then angry. “I thought I was able to throw it. Don’t touch it again,” she said.

I stared and waited for more. Sighing, she continued.

“She’s your granny’s mom. The man and the girl were your granny’s dad and sister. She burned their house and killed all including herself because of jealousy. Your granny and that painting are the only survivors of that fire.”

Word count: 120
©2017 Rosemawrites@A Reading Writer. All Rights Reserved.
Photo credit: The Storyteller’s Abode

For Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers (FFfAW) March 28, 2017. 🙂