Endings and Beginnings (2017 Edition)

Oh, what a rollercoaster you have been, 2017?

The leaves of this year’s calendar is all but gone. With Sara Bareilles “December” playing on my background, with the lyrics:

Distill a whole year down into a day
Act like we all start over with a pristine slate
But to get yourself a new life you’ve got to give the other one away
And I’m starting to believe in the power of a name
‘Cause it can’t be a mistake if I just call it change

let me try to write about this crazy year and what I hope for the next.

The text cursor keeps on blinking, my mind keeps on trying to find the beginning of this post. Where should I start?

So… January 2017 I turned 25 (which I kind of talked about in this poem). It is like 1/3-life-crisis as I remember asking myself, “What have you done? What have you finished? What have you created that you should be proud of?”

It’s a crazy state of asking questions no one can actually answer. So in the end of it all, I let it be. (I’ve been so good at letting things be this year. Not sure if that is good or bad though.)

After the milestone birthday, blog world has been silent while I pour all my energy on Instagram. The camaraderie of the poets there reminded me of how it was here on WordPress, when I was just getting acquainted with my poet-self. I remember being around the awesome group of poets who grew and learned with me. Until one by one they left.

Come May, I released my first poetry collection, Between My Bleeding Lines

BLEEDING LINES

It was exciting to see your words printed and published with a lovely cover by my dear Sarah Doughty. I have honestly no high hopes for this one, and true to “what you think will happen, happens”, it did not soar. Does it matter?

It will be a hypocrite answer to say, “No, book sales doesn’t matter.” Because it does. Who wouldn’t want to hit it big in the first try? Who wouldn’t want to be like Lang Leav and Rupi Kaur? Of course, I do. But I’ve got no expectations and maybe has so little faith. And it showed. It doesn’t make the journey of birthing a book a little less exciting and fulfilling, though. 🙂

Publishing is an uncharted sea I was able to try this year. While the reward isn’t as fruitful, the lessons I learned and the people that made the baby book possible are enough rewards for now. 🙂

In between the hullaballoo of the release and the consistent posting on Instagram, are work tasks which eventually lead me to another “first” of the year which happened last October! My first airplane ride, my first beach experience, and my first out-of-the-country travel trip! (Thailand! :D)

20171012_112933

And 2017 won’t let itself end without a bang as after I went to Thailand for a client’s event, a new job was waiting for me. I was accepted. Considering the family and not myself, I have to accept. Here we go. I have to dive into another uncharted sea.

In between these milestones, I have loved and I have lost. I have given a second chance, and right now, I think that battle is another war that I’ve lost. I want to believe that I’m a brave and not a coward soldier, who knows when to give up. ‘Cause I’m laying down my sword and my armour, it’s time to let people go.

Apologies for such a melancholic post, but believe me, I have a tired heart filled with hope. Like a badly wounded soldier, I’m dusting off my knees and cleaning my wounds.

I am ready for 2018 and the amazing ride it will bring. I am ready to swim the strange sea. I am ready to love and be loved again. I am ready to write and try and try again. I am not at my best position right now, but it doesn’t mean it won’t get better.

It is far better to start the year on bended knee, for that’s the best time to call to the mighty He. I know He will be with me.


HAPPY NEW YEAR, everybody!

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COVER REVEAL: Between My Bleeding Lines

BLEEDING LINES

Meet my first baby, the book I reared for nine months, my very own Between My Bleeding Lines.

Between My Bleeding Lines is a collection of 100 free verse poems about love, loss, and finding yourself in the process.

The art of loving, the pain of losing, and the beauty of healing are shown in the book’s three chapters: For Granted, Forgotten and Forbearer.

I want to express my heartfelt thanks to the ever kind Sarah Doughty for creating this beautiful book cover. Book cover plays an important role and the art you did here is a great help. I cannot thank you enough, love. ❤

The beautiful painting is by Tsukiko Kiyumidzu.

Between My Bleeding Lines will be available in Amazon, Createspace and Amazon partner bookstores starting next week. I will be sharing the links soon!

I would love to know what you think about this cover? 🙂 Please share!

Unsaid Adieu

The half-opened bedroom door.
The mute clothes on the floor.
I could’ve asked for more.

Filled with the scent you left.
Still reeling with the shivers you sent.

Caged inside this haunted house
named after you,
still feeling the ghost of your
unsaid adieu.

02.14.2017
©2017 Rosemawrites@A Reading Writer. All Rights Reserved.
Photo credit: Unsplash

In response to dVerse‘s Quadrille #26 with the word “ghost” from kim881.
Just write a poem of precisely 44 words, including the word ghost.

dverse

Wreaked Havoc

Wreaked Havoc (Inspired by Buses and Trains by Bachelor Girl)

They say love is like walking under a rushing bus
or getting hit by a rapid moving train.
No wonder I was wreaked havoc, after him.

10.25.2016
©2016 Rosemawrites@A Reading Writer. All Rights Reserved.
Photo credit: Unsplash

In response to November Notes Writing Challenge by my love Sarah Doughty of Heartstring Eulogies and yours truly.❤

november-notes-4

Favorite Memory

Favorite Memory (Inspired by You Are A Memory by Message To Bears)

You are just a memory.
Well, my favorite one.
But I am clearly, oh so done.
I won’t let your betrayal define who I am.
Not anymore. Not anymore.

10.25.2016
©2016 Rosemawrites@A Reading Writer. All Rights Reserved.
Photo credit: Unsplash

In response to November Notes Writing Challenge by my love Sarah Doughty of Heartstring Eulogies and yours truly.❤

november-notes-4

Clarion Call

Clarion Call (Inspired by Pain Told Love by Tribe Society)

She turned her excruciating pain
into a clear clarion call
to love, accept, embrace herself more.

10.25.2016
©2016 Rosemawrites@A Reading Writer. All Rights Reserved.
Photo credit: Unsplash

In response to November Notes Writing Challenge by my love Sarah Doughty of Heartstring Eulogies and yours truly.❤

november-notes-4

Dalliance

Dalliance (Inspired by Meaning by Gavin DeGraw)

The ending of our dalliance
gave my life a deeper meaning.
This throbbing, beating ache
confirms pain is part of living.

10.25.2016
©2016 Rosemawrites@A Reading Writer. All Rights Reserved.
Photo credit: Unsplash

In response to November Notes Writing Challenge by my love Sarah Doughty of Heartstring Eulogies and yours truly.❤

november-notes-4

Air Affair

Air Affair (Inspired by Air by Rayvon Owen)

An air kind of affair.
A love story that’s not even there.
It left me wrecked.
It left me bare.
I was hurt but it’s okay.
It made me better.
It made me stronger.
Thanks to you, my former lover.

10.25.2016
©2016 Rosemawrites@A Reading Writer. All Rights Reserved.
Photo credit: Unsplash

In response to November Notes Writing Challenge by my love Sarah Doughty of Heartstring Eulogies and yours truly.❤

november-notes-4

Freeing the Criminal

Freeing the Criminal (Inspired by Criminal by Fiona Apple)

You’re the criminal who has been jailed inside my heart.
Locked with ball and chain, I’ve kept you hidden inside.

I thought keeping you will make me blissful and glad.
Nope. I’m just like a lone warrior waging a foolish fight.

So come out now, my prisoner. I’ll accept my lost.
Letting you go is better for me, first and foremost.

10.24.2016
©2016 Rosemawrites@A Reading Writer. All Rights Reserved.
Photo credit: Unsplash

In response to November Notes Writing Challenge by my love Sarah Doughty of Heartstring Eulogies and yours truly. ❤

november-notes-4

Gorgeous Art

Gorgeous Art (Inspired by Between the Lines by Sara Bareilles)

Cruel mind still carries all our shared memories.
Ironically, t’was not able to detect the fallacy
buried between your lying lines.
Thankfully, I have a scarred yet dauntless heart
which made your betrayal a gorgeous art.

10.24.2016
©2016 Rosemawrites@A Reading Writer. All Rights Reserved.
Photo credit: Unsplash

In response to November Notes Writing Challenge by my love Sarah Doughty of Heartstring Eulogies and yours truly. ❤

november-notes-4