map of mess

Unfinished coffee, void of warmth, aching for last touch. Oh, the daddy. Spilled sauces blots on canvas, wait, it’s kitchen table top. Oh, the mommy. Crumbs of cookies paved roads for the hard working ants. Oh, the eldest. Traps made of Lego too tiny, too tough, barefoot left scathed. Oh the youngest. Bedroom scented with […]

Bravest Moment

on the day when her grandchildren will be sitting on her lap asking for the bravest thing she has done, she will be looking back at this moment. she’s in no danger. no noise. no death-defying acts. but with peaceful tree-whistles, lullaby-like bird-tunes, embrace-like forest air. and her heart and mind who were both dauntless enough to walk out of a life in […]

The Painting

I asked my mom this morning about the almost burnt painting I saw last week in our attic. Its main subject is a woman dressed in glamor and elegance. She looked like me and my mommy but I am quite sure she is not my granny. To my surprise, mom turned pale and then sad […]

The Bathroom Pianist

I was three when curiosity was born inside me. I remember the first thing I asked my mom was about the grand piano covered and silenced inside her room’s bathroom. I grew old asking why it’s hidden. She has offered me nothing but a teary smile, until today. With the same nostalgic yet melancholic look, […]

Spring Bud

I smell how the supposed sweet, summer aroma turned into a chilling winter scent as I watch how her soft, smooth skin turns from blushed pink to lifeless violet. I listen to her frail heartbeats, silently begging, pleading, helpless against her quite incoming death. With a tear-stained face, my mouth utters its own prayer as […]

A Mother’s Heart

I almost dropped the two full paper bags when I saw the familiar blue car parked in front of our home. So they are back after a month. Seated in front of my husband, my daughter and her rugged boyfriend sat in full-of-fear silence. I walked in without looking at them. I might not be able […]

Book Review: Inside the O’Briens by Lisa Genova

“Reality depends on perspective, on what is paid attention to.” 43rd – Inside the O’Briens by Lisa Genova  Rating:  (Good read, definitely) What is it about: Joe O’Brien is a forty-four-year-old police officer from the Irish Catholic neighborhood of Charlestown, Massachusetts. A devoted husband, proud father of four children in their twenties, and respected officer, […]

Father’s Dilemma

What will make a teenager feel better after a sudden breakup? Maybe good food? I stared at our almost full kitchen cabinet pondering what to cook for my daughter with a broken heart. I can feel mine throbbing too. If only her mom was still here, maybe she can say the right healing words to […]

Seasons’ Winds

Almost four months from now, I’ll be turning 25. It recently dawned on me, oh, what have I done with my life? I’ve studied hard and earned honors, but my ultimate dream still feels too far. I’m working hard but monetary state remains harsh.Yet looking back, I know my family and I are already far […]

First Prayer

A chain smoker. A decade-long drug addict. An abusive and unfaithful husband. An irresponsible father. Yes. That’s me. It is surely surprising for you to see me here. Seating in the middle of your holy house. Honestly, I never planned to go to you. I have never went to you, in fact. Maybe the first […]