paper dreams

i have a pocketful of folded paper cranes,
inked with agony, worry, fear of my boneless brain.
numb, loss, i’ll wander, maybe after i watch them burn.

08.31.2017
©2017 Rosemawrites@A Reading Writer. All Rights Reserved.
Photo by Dev Benjamin on Unsplash

In response to Sonya of Only 100 Words‘ Three Line Tales Week 83.
If you want to join, here are the simple rules:
  • Write three lines inspired by the photo prompt.
  • Link back to this post.
  • Tag your post with 3LineTales (so we can find you in the Reader).
  • Read and comment on other TLT participants’ lines.
  • Have fun.
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homebound

i have wandered far
from Your loving bay,
i believed alone i
can pave my own way.

step one, two, then three
i walked away slowly
from Your presence like
a bird breaking free.

not knowing never have
You locked me inside
of Your words and light,
my God, bring me back.

08.02.2017
©2017 Rosemawrites@A Reading Writer. All Rights Reserved.
Photo via Unsplash

Confessions, ramblings, and everything in between

Over an hour. That is how long I have been staring at my screen flashing an unfinished article I should finish before the day ends.

Eight tabs. That’s how many articles and resources I have read to be able to start writing and get my mind do what it’s supposed to do.

Numerous words written and deleted. That’s how I have been trying (badly) to write and write and write.

But nothing. My mind is not at it.

Like a boat freely sailing, wandering, on the vastness of the endless sea, my mind seems to be here but nowhere, here but elsewhere. It would be ungrateful to say I feel like a criminal jailed to be stuck in my office chair but that’s how I have been feeling lately.

It took me years to land a job related to my course, Journalism. I have been here for almost three years now and yes, it is fulfilling, tiring, but exciting. But there are days when you want to be as free as a bird. To be a writer tucked under her blanket just reading and writing.

It might be because of age but lately, I have been yearning for a simpler life. A life in a quaint house, by the sea and near the forest where I can wander and wonder. A life without a rushed phase. A life not limited by deadlines. A life not commanded by corporate bosses.

But that kind of life, as simple as it may sound, is too expensive. Expensive because you need money while living a life away from the city and the 9-to-5 job. Because I have responsibilities, and I have a life that isn’t only about me.

It’s been almost two months since I released my debut book, and I am quietly wishing and praying for its success because I dream to be like Lang Leav. Living in New Zealand, writing. But the road to becoming like her seems foggy and bumpy. Am I losing faith? Maybe.

I may not be hungry to make millions for my book, but I am dreaming of living a life as a writer. A creative one. Not someone locked inside a corporate box. But then as the eldest daughter, I got to move. I got to earn. For the family.

How can I pursue my passion and provide for the family? That I have yet to find out. And yes, I am trying to knock doors and windows to turn my dreams into reality.

Like what Ms. Maya Angelou told me again last week, “All great achievements require time.” I need patience and endurance. But most of all faith.

Faith that my time will come. Faith that my book’s time will come. Faith that everything happens for a reason. Faith that no time is wasted. Faith in things I cannot see as of the moment. Faith that He is moving and guiding me.

Easier said than done, I’m trying. Every single day.

For now, let me get back and write the article I need to finish today.

 

Between My Bleeding Lines’ Readers: Sarah Doughty

Authenticity

“In a pool of infinite darkness
called life, don’t fear that light
glowing beneath surface.”

I am more than micro-tales of love or unbearable heartache. I am more than just pretty pictures with shallow words on crinkled paper. I’m not afraid to delve deeper into the human condition and come out the other side feeling that I made some level of connection with the harsh realities of this world. I’m not deterred by unseen, unfeeling, and listless eyes, searching elsewhere for little bits of romanticized half-truths or incomplete thoughts. I’m not burdened with the need to be someone I’m not, but instead choose to show my vulnerabilities and wear my heavy burdens for the world just so others can see they aren’t alone. I am not intimidated by those that choose the easy path, and instead embrace those that devour the depths of my daydreams and the harshness of my nightmares with the desire to continue on those paths with me. I am a weaver of tales, a collector of thoughts, a bearer of truths — a conjurer of magic, and this is the shimmering light in the unforgiving, darkened oblivion known as life.

© Sarah Doughty | Heartstring Eulogies


Meet my BETWEEN MY BLEEDING LINES’ beta-readers: @thesarahdoughty, also of @bookisheulogies and curator at @creativecoterie.

Sarah is the mother of epic books and stunning poems. But aside from being a brilliant writer, one can admire her dauntless and so so so kind heart.

I am more than blessed to be called one of her friends and my book is privileged to have gone through her expert eyes. She suggested helpful edits which helped in refining my poems.

And when i thought i could not ask for more, she offered to help me with the cover and darn, her design is AWE-MAZING! (i am excited to share it to everyone!) My gratitude for you, love, is so beyond words. I owe you a lot.

(As the release of my BETWEEN MY BLEEDING LINES nears (this month!), I would like to feature the amazing writers who guided me (technically and morally) all through out this nine-month journey. I am blessed to have them.)

Fog of Fear

inside a cage filled with fog of fear, she stays alone trying to heal the scars of the past of all that is done, the ache of the present she cannot share with anyone, the uncertainty of the future coming with each rising sun.

will i be able to stop looking back and leave the footsteps i have made? will i regret the decisions i have made? will i be able to see a better tomorrow or all that’s left is heart’s sorrow?

as morning rays slip through the tiny cracks of her cave, she cannot help but let hope grow inside. with the leftover, brittle faith she holds on to, she’s coming out. she’s coming out.

she finally choose
to sink not in fog of fear
but in sea of faith.

P.S. Yes, she is me.
P.P.S. Written with a tear-stained face and with ears listening to this song:
Your love so deep is washing over me
Your face is all I seek, you are my everything
Jesus Christ, You are my one desire
Lord, hear my only cry, to know you all my life
04.18.2017
©2017 Rosemawrites@A Reading Writer. All Rights Reserved.
Photo via Unsplash

In response to dVerse‘s Haibun Monday: The only thing we have to fear… by hayesspencer (Toni).

dverse

Building Values

Hand me
the hammer of hope
let’s pound
the nail of fear
to create
this concrete connection
and make welcoming
walls of visions.

Come, let’s mix
sand of honesty
with rocks of faith,
and paint our ceilings
with dauntless colors
against
termites of hate.

For our wall’s holes,
let’s place transparent
windows of courtesy
and our entrance be
the always-open
door of unity.

Atop let’s use the
roof of compassion
and love be our
building’s foundation.

Wouldn’t this be an ideal nation?

P.S. Sorry if this piece is a bit longer than I usually do. 🙂
03.09.2017
©2017 Rosemawrites@A Reading Writer. All Rights Reserved.
Photo credit: Unsplash

In response to dVerse‘s Poetics: DIY Building from purplepeninportland.
Your challenge for today is to imagine that you have been given free rein to design any type of building you wish. What would your building look like? shape? materials? size?

dverse

Sunday Songs: Desert Song

This is my prayer in the desert
When all that’s within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides

This is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flame

This is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on its way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I’ll stand

This is my prayer in the harvest
When favour and providence flow
I know I’m filled to be emptied again
The seed I’ve received I will sow

All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship


Last week was hellish at work. The coming weeks might be worst because the major event will happen on December 13th. But as this song says, may it be a hellish or heavenly, I will still choose to sing, to worship the good good God who blessed me in ways I will never be able to fathom.

Life surely knows how to knock us down. But my dear, come back stronger. Stand up. Stand tall. We can do this! ❤

Have a blessed week, everyone!
This is my third Sunday Songs with my dearest sister Stella.❤ Join us?🙂
Video courtesy of Youtube.🙂

Sunday Songs: Stars in the Sky

The clouds will rain
The seasons change
(Cause You told them to)
The sun will shine
Your burning light
(Cause You told it to)
When You speak your words through my soul
So I know it’s true
You’re in control
In control
In control

The stars in the sky will hang there
’til You tell them to
The faith in my heart will still sing
Of what Your love can do
And even when life weighs heavy on me
I know You’re in control
And You’re all I need
The stars in the sky will hang there
’til You tell them to


Last week was a major life-turning week for me. I was badly sick, physically, emotionally. It is a turmoil. A catastrophic week.

But as I regain my health, now comes the agony, the fear. If the decision I made was right. I was brave when I said the final goodbye, but now I am afraid of the pain that will come with the coming days.

But then, He is in control. He holds the stars. He controls the moon and the sun. He is enough to comfort my weary heart. He is enough. ❤

Have a blessed week, everyone!
This is my second Sunday Songs with my dearest sister Stella.❤ Join us?🙂
Video courtesy of Youtube.🙂

Sunday Songs: Beautiful Things

All this pain
I wonder if I’ll ever find my way
I wonder if my life could really change at all
All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found
Could a garden come up from this ground at all

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

There are days when I feel like a filth. Filth of sin. Filth of envy. Filth of hate. But then, He made me wonderfully. Most of all, despite my filth, He embraces me willingly, lovingly. Is there more than I can ask for? None, anymore. ❤

Have a blessed Sunday, everyone!
This is my second Sunday Songs with my dearest sister Stella.❤ Join us?🙂
         Video courtesy of Youtube.🙂