After My Demons Win

I let my demons win.
I let my soul forget
the love you bring.
I let envy reign in me.
I let insecurity
flood within me.
I let frustrations
erase Your actions.
I let my selfishness
blur my visions.

Almost an hour inside
my self-imposed asylum,
after I let depression
poison me like helium,
I run to You,
read Your words, my rescue.

You speak to my soul,
to my heart broken and tainted.
You softly whispered
“Bloom where you’re planted.”
You also added:


Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth.

1 Timothy 6:6

My tired eyes begun
to well-up again,
with You I know my demons
will now be in vain.

Photo credit: Craft Hubs


My depressed post early this week may came as a surprise to most of you. I have killed a lot it this blog (I am guilty.) and have posted several depressing stories but NEVER in my personal posts. Until, that one.

I am naturally a blissful, optimistic person but the turn out of events last week have broken the leash I put around my inner demons. So they went out.

It was just almost an hour of depression inside our bathroom. After that I read my Daily Bread and He has spoken. His words made me better.

And.. yours too. From my heart please know your encouragement, your concern, your love held my spirits up again. ❤ Thank you so much Vijaya, PJ, Mandi, Judy, Dajena, Kay, Christopher, my M, Mel and Maria. You are all blessings. ❤

~

When My Demons Win

Tonight I will let my demons win. Go envy, speak yourself.

Ask why among my friends I have the lowest almost minimum-wage salary. Why it’s easy to increase theirs, but hard for me. I only want to provide for my family, to buy my mom some groceries, while my friends mostly spend their money on luxuries.

Ask why the most demanding but almost lowest paying account was given to me, while the new three clients were given to my co-worker. Why new opportunities are given to her, while my brain aches in my corner. Why while I am prompt and driven, no favor to me was given?

Tonight I will let my demons win. Go insecurity speak yourself.

Ask why my pimples won’t stop growing. He knows I have no money to buy clearing skin products, yet He lets me get uglier. Ask why I can’t lost weight. Even when I’m starving myself.

Tonight I will let my demons win. Go frustration, speak yourself.

Ask why does my sister fail a subject? He knows my meagre salary can barely save for her tuition but He let her fail and take summer class. It cost me more money, and her scholarship. Now I have to save more though I will not get more.

Tonight I will let my demons win. Go selfishness speak yourself.

Ask why is it easy for me to buy my siblings and parents’ clothes and shoes while my office wear are mostly my rich aunt’s hand-me-down blouse and skirts? Why can’t I buy books I wanted to read but easily purchase treats for my sibs? Why can’t I satisfy my wants even though I provide for my family’s needs?

Tonight I will let my demons win. Tonight I will let my tears fall. To defeat my demons I should let them out. To clear my eyes I should let my tears go.

Tonight I will let depression in. Tomorrow I’ll believe again.

Tonight I will let my demons win. Tomorrow I will defeat them again.

Dear Envy*

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Dear Envy*

A  free verse collaboration with my poetry Queen, my dear soul-sister, my cheerleader and encourager, my lovely friend, Nandita of Manan Unleashed.

*Everyone has his own demon, is yours named envy?

For quite a few times, I’ve written about this deadly sin already. Why? Because I have my own envy-blood running through me.
As we share an intense kind of honesty, Nandita  and I wrote this piece to remind you, and even ourselves, that envy destroys not the one your envious to. It destroys no one but you.


Dear Envy

Like deadly cancer cells
Infiltrating soul
Piece by piece like spell
Digging hollow holes

Your venom spreads
Faster than lightning
You’re the one infected though
poor disillusioned darling

Intense desire
Keeps the evil-me burning
With envious fire
I’m fiercely igniting

Your fires burn
No one but you
I’m free from malice
I’m pure and true

I’m waging war
Against  you
Listen to my roar
It’s my soul’s due

I hope you find peace
Heals your lying scar
truth and love
always win the war

Love begets love
Why can’t I get my part?
Now, I’m a dark dove
Imitating your dear heart

Imitation is the highest
Form of flattery
Thank you for the honour
Dear Envy!

Photo: credit

Thank you Nandita for sharing, again,  your eloquent pen with me. ❤ It is both a delight and an honour, always!

The Seven Deadly Sins of Senryu*

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The Seven Deadly Sins of Senryu*

*A senryu-series collaboration with Melinda Kucsera of In Media Res.

Melinda, an eloquent poetess and a gifted fantasy writer, is the author of epic fantasy adventure Stars and Angel Sing. Visit her blog and take a thrilling journey as she takes you to the enchanted world of Shayari.


Envy

He own things I lack.
She wore leather boots, I want.
Why I lack a lot?

He’s not more lucky.
I don’t need those leather boots.
I don’t covet things.

Photo credit: Melinda Kucsera

More deadly senryu tomorrow…

My Name is

photo-1455368109333-ebc686ad6c58

The contagious
cancer cells
infecting
your mind.

The inner
El Niño
drying up
your plans.

The dark
sinkhole,
sucking
your bliss.

The cool
winter snow
freezing
life’s warm kiss.

I’ll grow,
thrive,
flourish,
increase,
as long as
your heart
chooses…
nothing but
me.

By the way,
my name’s
envy.

©2016 Rosemawrites@A Reading Writer. All Rights Reserved.

Photo credit: Dmitry Ratushny


In response to Daily Post: Envy

Envy*

three day 3 quotes

“The few who do are the envy of the many who only watch.” ― Jim Rohn


*Those thoughts

           shattering,

           destroying,

            slicing,

            breaking,

you,

into

       p

             i

                e

                     c

                          e

                               s.

Photo credit: Quote Fancy

Thank you Ishma of Ishma Imroz, Jade of Jade M. Wong and Heena of Heena Rathore P., for nominating me! 🙂

RULES OF THIS CHALLENGE:

  1. Post three consecutive days
  2. You can pick one or three quotes per day
  3. Challenge three different bloggers per day

MY THREE NOMINEES FOR TODAY ARE (my new followers):

  1. Rona
  2. CS Knotts
  3. Gina

Thank you for following me.

I hope you enjoy this challenge, too! 🙂

~