In Psychology they say,
the glass will be half empty
or half full based on
how you see it,
on my way home
late last night,
I paused a minute
to look up
to the hundreds
of the stars I can see,
and the thousands more
I cannot see.
For some reasons
they reminded me
of the many things that stains
my heart with melancholy,
and the much more things
unknown to me
that should paint me happy.
So I choose
to start my journey
to discovering
each unchartered joys
life has hidden for me.
I’m sure the glass
will not only be full,
it
will
overflow.
Your love is a flood and I’m Caught in the current of Your living waters It’s Your love, it’s Your love Your presence is a flood And I’m caught in the wonder You have taken me over You have won my heart
inside a cage filled with fog of fear, she stays alone trying to heal the scars of the past of all that is done, the ache of the present she cannot share with anyone, the uncertainty of the future coming with each rising sun.
will i be able to stop looking back and leave the footsteps i have made? will i regret the decisions i have made? will i be able to see a better tomorrow or all that’s left is heart’s sorrow?
as morning rays slip through the tiny cracks of her cave, she cannot help but let hope grow inside. with the leftover, brittle faith she holds on to, she’s coming out. she’s coming out.
she finally choose
to sink not in fog of fear
but in sea of faith.
—
P.S. Yes, she is me.
P.P.S. Written with a tear-stained face and with ears listening to this song:
Your love so deep is washing over me Your face is all I seek, you are my everything Jesus Christ, You are my one desire Lord, hear my only cry, to know you all my life
This is my prayer in the desert
When all that’s within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides
This is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flame
This is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on its way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I’ll stand
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favour and providence flow
I know I’m filled to be emptied again
The seed I’ve received I will sow
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship
Last week was hellish at work. The coming weeks might be worst because the major event will happen on December 13th. But as this song says, may it be a hellish or heavenly, I will still choose to sing, to worship the good good God who blessed me in ways I will never be able to fathom.
Life surely knows how to knock us down. But my dear, come back stronger. Stand up. Stand tall. We can do this! ❤
The clouds will rain The seasons change (Cause You told them to) The sun will shine Your burning light (Cause You told it to) When You speak your words through my soul So I know it’s true You’re in control In control In control
The stars in the sky will hang there ’til You tell them to The faith in my heart will still sing Of what Your love can do And even when life weighs heavy on me I know You’re in control And You’re all I need The stars in the sky will hang there ’til You tell them to
Last week was a major life-turning week for me. I was badly sick, physically, emotionally. It is a turmoil. A catastrophic week.
But as I regain my health, now comes the agony, the fear. If the decision I made was right. I was brave when I said the final goodbye, but now I am afraid of the pain that will come with the coming days.
But then, He is in control. He holds the stars. He controls the moon and the sun. He is enough to comfort my weary heart. He is enough. ❤
All this pain I wonder if I’ll ever find my way I wonder if my life could really change at all All this earth Could all that is lost ever be found Could a garden come up from this ground at all
You make beautiful things You make beautiful things out of the dust You make beautiful things You make beautiful things out of us
—
There are days when I feel like a filth. Filth of sin. Filth of envy. Filth of hate. But then, He made me wonderfully. Most of all, despite my filth, He embraces me willingly, lovingly. Is there more than I can ask for? None, anymore. ❤