A Look Back to Move Forward

blue wooden door

It’s almost two in the morning, I am supposed to be sleeping, probably paddling through the river of dreams this night has to offer. My eyes are sleepy, my body at less than 5% of mortal battery, still I get up, still I write.

The soul would never let this wee hours — when the road outside closed itself to the roars of the rubber tires; when even the nocturnal insects have stopped their midnight jam; when good nights were said, when the world is quiet — be wasted without spilling what’s inside it. Why?

Because today is my birthday.

The nanosecond gap in between two different years has never made me pause, reflect, and think. But my birthdays, oh they never fail.

So tonight, if you have reached this part, forgive my grammar and spelling mistakes, please bear with me as this soul speak out through the method it has always loved — writing.

Perhaps the restlessness roots from the milestones this new year has to offer for me. I am turning 27, and perhaps 2019 is my year of bravery.

This year I will move out not just from my the comfort of my house, but from the land and water territories of my motherland, The Philippines. This year, I will be doing a milestone which for others might be too soon, but for me, is it His time.

This year is the year of changes. Major ones. To say they are not scary is hypocrisy. When I have sometime to think and pause (which rarely happens nowadays), doubts creep in. Did I decide right? Can I really do it? Am I worth their trust? Did I dive too early?

Deep inside I still feel that what I am trying to do is bigger than who I am, greater than what I can, beyond what I used to do.

But that itself is the miracle of it all.

This year is the year of bravery where the old rooms of fears must be locked, securely and tightly, and the keys of them buried six feet deep.

There is no space for fear. There are a lot for faith.

And I write this to remember that yes, my old-self you were afraid. Yes, you probably will fail (both big time and small time). Yes, you probably might cry, get frustrated, reach that brink of giving up.

But you, you must remember that when you heard the first gong of this war, you already  declared bravery, you claimed declared faith.

This ocean might be too deep for someone who cannot even swim in a lake. But you are in a ship where the captain is He who made you.

“Fear not, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed. I am your God.”

Look back. But don’t forget to move forward.

She is Me

She has seen thousands dusks and dawns
kissing crawling winds combing lawns.

She has felt sweet spring and harsh winters
clothing her heart’s ever resilient chambers.

She has lived more than two decades,
with turning time she swayed and swayed.

With the love and life she’s ready to give and take,
she knows she will not cease to create and be created.

01.24.2017
©2017 Rosemawrites@A Reading Writer. All Rights Reserved.
Photo credit: Kazi Mustakim  ❤

Crossing (Her) Bridge

Sweaty, cold hands grip the cold rails,
agonized eyes stare at her almost fading trails–
footprints of all she has done,
mud piles of all her missed fun,
holed-patches of all she has lost,
unturned stones of her dreams still at frost.

Waiting lungs heave one deep, deep breath,
shaky foot finally decided to take its first step–
towards a foggy future she has yet to know,
towards a misty tomorrow no crystal ball can show.

With a hoping heart cloaked with lit-up love,
with a warrior soul armored with fearless faith,
she runs and crosses her own unsteady bridge,
away from her yesterday’s oh, so useless weights.

01.12.2014
©2017 Rosemawrites@A Reading Writer. All Rights Reserved.
Photo credit: Unsplash

In response to dVerse‘s Poetics: Abridged Version by the beautifully-hearted lillian.
Note: This is what happens when your 25th birthday is less than two weeks away. 😉 And it is fascinating that my last dVerse-inspired poem is also about bridges. ❤ 

dverse

Acrostic for Brother

Creator of poignant, moving poetry—
History told effectively,
Relevant events affecting humanity.
Ink-stained fingers also weave,
Sweet and blessed psalms that beat.
Together with his wise, sharp mind,
Over and over he graciously offers
Praises and clear insights.
He always read between the lines,
Even see beyond the writer’s rhymes.
Receive this late greeting I offer, to you my writing reader brother named…

Photo credit: Unsplash

Written for one of my favorite readers, the writer of relevant, poignant and moving unique poetry, Christopher of CLCouch123, who I fondly call brother.

I missed greeting you on your exact birthday but I won’t let your birthday week ends without this gift! 🙂 Happy birthday brother! I pray for all the answers to your prayers. 😉 ❤

Fierce, Fearless and…

She is fierce and fearless.

Fierce for clinging to a tattered, tough life.
Fierce for voicing what she thinks is right.
Fierce for loving those she loves.
Fierce for always, always standing up!

Fearless for saying what is true.
Fearless for always starting anew.
Fearless for either praise or boo.
Fearless for loving but not living color blue!

She is fierce and fearless but most of all she is FAITHFUL.
For living a hard life but still seeing what is beautiful.
For praising her soul’s main master.
For writing beautiful poems all tongues can utter.

Time may have diminished her gorgeous beauty,
but time has made her heart a more splendid entity.
Time may not erase her past that’s not so lovely,
but her brave heart remains capable of loving unselfishly.

Today I celebrate with her maker.
Because I am one of the souls she touched deep and deeper.
Today I’m sending this birthday letter,
for a fierce, fearless, faithful woman I call Sister! ❤


Written for my loving and gorgeous and sweet and talented and FIERCE and FEARLESS and FAITHFUL sister, Delyn of Stutter-Stepping Heart who is celebrating her birthday today, September 26. Pass on the cheesecake and grilled cheese please?! ❤ Love you!
Photo credit: Unsplash

Blessed at 24

24 years

of Your faithfulness.

288 months

of life’s both blessings and mess.

8,760 days

or even more,

I will sing

of your praise,

until that day

when my soul to You will soar.

©2016 Rosemawrites@A Reading Writer. All Rights Reserved.

Photo credit: Indulgy


DAY 50 of 50 Days of Gratefulness

Today, I am grateful for the life that God has given me.

At exactly 12:05 PM today, I’ll officially turn 24. 🙂

My heart’s full of gratefulness for the years that have passed.

And it is full of hope for more years my life will last.

~