when i find it hard to see things that can make my old heart glad, i remember the scared eyes of my one-year-old self. my small arms hugging my then thin dad. at early 20’s, with his hair middle-parted. on his left hand was a pink, birthday balloon, on his lips a small smile. his finger pointing at the camera. assuring me that it’s okay to show my baby teeth. it’s okay to smile a bit. it’s okay. i am safe.
i am still not a camera-friendly woman. i prefer my photos shot without my face. but today, for some reasons, gratitude leads me to the fact that my dad’s arms, however far, are still around. holding my baby sister. tickling her ribs. keeping her safe. his hands, 3,000 miles away from me, still able to catch pond fishes. to cook them “sinigang” and fried tilapia and mackerels.
thrice i’ve almost lost
the first man i love. now he
sees me learn to drive.
—
Love it. These memories are so vivid and well-told.
LikeLiked by 1 person
thank you, JYP!
LikeLike
such a loving tribute to your father, amazing to have a memory from one years of age!
LikeLiked by 1 person
photos helped me relive this memory again and again. 🙂 thank you, dear Kate. excited to read yours soon
LikeLiked by 1 person
don’t worry if you don’t get there …
LikeLiked by 1 person
Amazing haibun.
LikeLiked by 1 person
thank you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
My dad has been gone for 11 years on the 28th of this month. We had something of a contentious relationship, but I always knew that he loved me. I still find myself wishing that I could tell him things.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reading this wrenches my heart. I can feel your love and sadness towards your father. Sending you prayers.
LikeLike
A beautiful testament to love…
LikeLiked by 1 person
indeed, Ain. thank you.
LikeLike
Family memories are the very best! Blessing on your Dad!
LikeLiked by 1 person
i cannot agree more. thank you, Beverly!
LikeLike
Love the family connection… so strong even across long distances. I hope you will be able to visit soon and share some of that cooking.
LikeLiked by 1 person
indeed. it’s unbreakable. i hope so too, Bjorn. missing my dad’s cooking. thank you!
LikeLike
A father and daughter have a special bond…cherish it while you can!
LikeLiked by 1 person
definitely. i will! thank you, Lynn!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Such a wonderful relationship you both seem to have 🙂 Beautifully expressed 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
so true. thank you, Vignesh!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow…. you really remember that from when you were only one-year-old? That’s simply amazing, Rosema.
❤
David
LikeLiked by 1 person
thanks to the photographs, David. Thank you!
LikeLike