like the sky
swallowing
the sun,
i remembered
how i choked
when you said
we’re done.
like the rain’s
fading fog,
i wait as
time erase
the drizzled remains
of your once
warm love.
today
i relish
each throb,
tomorrow
i will move
forward.
—
04.11.2017
©2017 Rosemawrites@A Reading Writer. All Rights Reserved.
Photo via Unsplash
—
Write a poem of 44 words including the word drizzle and post it to your blog.
Published by areadingwriter
I read because I write. | I write because I read.
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love the last lines…
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thank you! 🙂
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Oooh
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aww. thank you, love!
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how i choked
when you said
we’re done.
I choked too…..ahhhh i love that one…so agonizingly painful..
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awwww. i agree. thank youu, Mich!
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I liked the first stanza the best with the sky swallowing the sun and the choked realization that a relationship was over. Nicely done.
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oooh. i like it too. thank you, Frank!
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Truly painful–but you WILL move forward with His grace and strength ❤
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amen sissy love! ❤
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Bless your baby heart ❤
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awww. yours too sissy. love!
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Thank you muchly ❤
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always! ❤
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❤
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today
i relish
each throb,
tomorrow
i will move
forward.
I liked this one, allowing ourselves to feel the complete hurt before moving on, we forgive the person but never the hurt I believe. If we forgive the hurt we are saying its ok to be hurt by the same action again. Such simple but heavy words Rosie dear.
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yes. yes. yes. i agree with you. that’s how i heal. i feel the pain. like suffocate myself first. and then after i feel i don’t want it anymore then i start to heal. 🙂
thank you, Gina!
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i totally get it! I do that too, get really into the emotion before I can heal.
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yea. 🙂 ❤
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Moving forward Rosema. The steps are slow and difficult to start, but they become quicker and full of life as time goes on. Excellent poem 🙂
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” they become quicker and full of life as time goes on”
will hold on to this, Davy.
Thank you! 🙂
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🙂
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Love how broken up the lines are in the poem, as though the speaker were choking up by the loss of their relationship and trying to process it. One day, it’ll be all okay again.
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“as though the speaker were choking up by the loss of their relationship”
you read beyond words, Chris. You feel them. Thank you so much!
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I think it speaks more as to how carefully your poem was crafted, than the way I read the piece 😀
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giving me too much credit! haha. thank you, Chris!
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I like your fresh descriptions, “sky swallowing sun,” “drizzled remains,” and the weather to emotions comparison is spot on.
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wow. thank you so much for the kind comment. 🙂
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Dearie, this is sadness and hopefulness blended into one beautiful piece. ❤
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uhhhuuuh. i read your poems and i think we are on the same page dearie. ❤
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It seems so dearie. Hehe. Uwi ka na.. Ingat! :*
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haha. pano mo nalaman na nasa opis pa ko? haha. ingatsss din dearie!
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Lucky guess lang. Haha. Same tayo e. 10mins to got nalang ako. XD
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hahaha. onga! very good! 😀
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I enjoyed the repetitions in this one, and the irregular rhyme pattern. The words just fitted in where they wanted to.
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aww. thank you for the insightful words, Jane! ❤
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My pleasure 🙂
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❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
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Rosema, I get inspired to write these Quadrille poems when I read yours. Great job. Maybe I’ll be thinking about and working on writing another one myself. I’ll have to let you know. 🙂
I finally found some time to create and post amongst my busy schedule. No poem today though. Just the art. Next time I’ll be sure to add a poem. hehehe.
🙂 ❤
Please have a lovely day sweetie.
🙂
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awwwwww. i still would love to see it! Thank you dear Staci! Have a happy week! ❤
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Once I get one done, I’ll let you know ok.
Take care.
🙂 ❤
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YAY! thank you dear! ❤
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😘
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As I read the beginning, I went back in time. As the read the ending, I thought “hell, yeah!!” 😁❤️❤️❤️ You are strong, my dear one. Always remember that. But it’s okay to feel weak too.
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awwwwwwww.. love love love the comment! an i cannot agree more! ❤
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The end of a romance eloquently put!
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aww. thank you! ❤
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You make the emotion and the pain very prominent, nice job 🙂
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thank you, Mandi!
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I like how you use drizzled remains…so sad for the romance to end but we have to move forward ~
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yes we have to. thank you, Grace!
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Reblogged this on Creative Writing Reblogged.
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The images of nature really worked to convey the heartache that can be so overwhelming…the idea of the sky swallowing the sun…wow! The last stanza brings hope to the situation. We must move on.
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Thank you for the insightful comment, Mish. I appreciate it. ❤ Thank you again. ❤
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Oooh this was wonderful, dear Rosema! Loved all the parallels to weather.
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awww. thank you dearie Jade! 😀
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‘Like the sky swallowing the sun’ I love this feeling image.
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oh thank you Ms. Janice! 🙂
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