First Prayer

Posted on by areadingwriter

A chain smoker. A decade-long drug addict. An abusive and unfaithful husband. An irresponsible father.

Yes. That’s me.

It is surely surprising for you to see me here. Seating in the middle of your holy house.

Honestly, I never planned to go to you. I have never went to you, in fact. Maybe the first and the last time that I stepped into your sacred home was when I was christened. And then just a day after that you killed my mom. Then my abusive and irresponsible dad, well, like father like son, left me too.

That’s how unfair you have been to me!

I learned to steal food to survive, even when I’m just three. I have evolved to a full-blown criminal with gangs as the family that you never let me have. I never get married, I have loved one woman only, but that doesn’t mean I was a good partner.

You cannot blame me, though. Because you’ve been unfair to me. Until now… you’re unfair to me.

So why the hell am I here?

For her, the only person that loved me despite my dark side.

For the first time and for the last time, I am begging you to please let her live.

I will not blame you, though I really badly want to curse you because you’ve been unfair to me! But for the sake of my five-year-old granddaughter, I am down on bended knees, please let her live.

She is the reason why my daughter let me live with them. She is the reason why her mom accepted me. It’s because of her, why I am now with my family after so many years.

She’s the only person who talks to me. She’s the only kid who considers me as a family. Her smiles are like sun rays. Her laughter are like chimes from heaven. She is my joy, she is my light.

And… she’s so young.

You can take me because my life has been wasted ever since. So come on! Take me!

But please… oh Lord… let my granddaughter live.

—

11.20.2015
©2016 Rosemawrites@A Reading Writer

Photo credit: Unsplash
Originally written for Blogging University’s WRITING 101 Day 15 Assignment.

Published by areadingwriter

I read because I write. | I write because I read.

46 thoughts on “First Prayer”

  5. A touching story Rosema and so much emotion. No matter what the story, there is always a human being involved and we should always take time out to show some compassion.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. This is gripping and had my heart in tears, Rosema. I have prayed his prayer…”…Take me, not her, not him. If someone has to be taken, let it be me…I am unworthy and they are everything.”

    There is so much feeling behind what you have written and I feel it deeply. You beg and you plead and it feels like no one is listening. They go, and we’re still here. I’ve been there…and, like the song says, that’s why I’m here.

    Have a blessed evening.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh dear. Sorry that I made you cry. I have prayed this prayer too for my baby sister Nicole. She almost died in my arms when she’s a day-old. She was born premature. She was in ICU for weeks. God has blessed her life for us. I am deeply in pain to know it was not how your prayer was answered dear. I read your poems and have take a peak on your pain but I will never ever be able to grasp it. So please know I am deeply sorry, Suz, and I believe God has blessed you still. ❤

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      1. {{{Hugs}}} You’re such a sweet friend. I am so sorry that your baby sister almost died, but so very happy that she lived. Praise the Lord! The little ones have such a long, hard battle. It is wonderful when they fight the odds that are against them and win and have a long life. That makes me smile. 🙂
        You don’t have to apologize. We all need to cry sometimes. For those that He answered “no”, they are in a far better place now. They are no longer sick or suffering. They are completely healed and in Heaven. Our hearts miss them very much, but we just weren’t meant to keep them here.
        Thank you, Rosema. I believe He has blessed me, too, for He has given me sweet, understanding friends like you. ❤

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  10. Oh wowza-wowza, Sister–this is incredible! Fierce and raw, real heart-deep honesty–as though you know this person very well. And isn’t it wonderful that God meets us wherever we are, whatever we need–He pours out His grace and love…and helps us go on, move forward in Him. Thank You, Jesus ❤

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    1. Aww. Thank you,Mich. This piece is somehow close to my heart as I prayed this prayer too before. My baby sister, (I’m the eldest among 6 sibs) almost died in my arms as she was born premature. So I somehow know that man’s agony. 🙂

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