Disenthral: A Deten*
I’ve lived
so happily
inside your own dark world,
without a desire to be freed
really.
I did
tried to break free
against your harsh brute words
but I failed like a wilted seed,
badly.
Mind lead
weak heart fin’lly,
they fought for my own worth
and burned your spell like a wild weed,
I’m free.
—
©2016 Rosemawrites@A Reading Writer. All Rights Reserved.
Photo credit: Unsplash.com
Word Inspiration: Sarah Doughty of Heartstring Eulogies (Thank you, Sarah!)
*The Deten has a unique rhyme scheme. It was created by Johnn Schroeder and can be found at Poetry Base.
The Deten is:
- a 15 line poem made up of 3 cinquains.
- meter at the discretion of the poet. Iambic pentameter is suggested, but tetrameter or sprung rhythm would also work. It might interesting to use the Crapsey Cinquain syllabic frame 2-4-6-8-2.
- rhymed abcab decde fgcfg.
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Excellent. The contrast in those opening lines drew us in. Bravo
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Wow! That was one fast feedback, Andrew! Thank you very much! 😉
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I had the email open when the notification arrived. Lol
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good timing then! HAHA
Thank you!
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ooo I like this word ‘Disenthral’. This is a powerful write perfect for such a dark sounding word and I love the hopeful end.
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Yeah! When i first read this word death is the first thing that popped in my killer mind. But i tried to take it a bit lighter. 😂😉
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Next time let your dark side play! 😉
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we’ll see next month! 😀
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Oh my I can’t wait! 🙂
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you’re too sweet! 😀
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🙂 Never! No such thing!
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yay! ❤
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🙂
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Very interesting rhyme scheme! Also, I agree with Melinda. Disenthral is such a great word :O!
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Yeaaah. It is dark and eerie eh?
Thank you dear Jade!!!
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The seed trying to break free implies (I think) that the process to freedom is that of growth. Growth to be free. That’s a wonderful truth. The weed is in the way. Finally, it is overcome. We shall overcome. From a song about freedom.
Fantastic action you describe here, sister. Go, mind. Go, you.
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oh dear. what a lovely and wise comment this is brother. Can’t help by feel so privilege to received your words. ❤ Thank you!
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I get the ideas for the words from you!
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aww. thank you!
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Oh, very nice!
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yay! thank you, Sarah!!! 😀
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I LOVE “disenthral”, was not familiar with the word before. This is a heavy-duty poem, Rosey–and another interesting form 🙂
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oh. heavy duty! yes i think it really is! 😀
Thank you, Sissy! that word is from Sarah. 🙂
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