Coincidentally, The Script’s It’s Not Right For You started playing on my ears and the lyrics that tugged my heart goes like this:
“It’s hard enough trying to live your life. But not following your dreams made you dead inside.”
So voila.. I am now writing about my own Space and Grace… and that should begin with multiple of confessions.
- I am a
perfectionist,purist (as darling Dajena and I discussed:)). I am hard on myself. I want to do things right, always right. I blame myself for my mistakes that can be traced back so many years ago. Thus, I worry about failing. I can’t forgive other’s mistake, much more mine.
- I have OCD tendencies, in all aspect of my life. I plan my blog posts. I plan my work-tasks. I plan my mid-month budget. I plan everything that I can plan ahead of time.
- I am sensitive to what people think. Hence, A Reading Writer is a SECRET to the people who knows me in real life. Hence, my blog is NOT linked to my Facebook account, which is mostly where the ‘physical’ me resides. I am too afraid to know what my physical friends think of my poems and fictions. Too afraid of all the negative things that may happen when I open my blog to the people who know the real me.
- I am hurt when people who I read and comment doesn’t do the same with me. I know people are busy, real-life is happening but there are just some bloggers who I tried to visit for a few times to test if we can be friends or somehow a mutual-reader but they are not kind enough to even take a look on what I have to offer. The worst part is that I see their comments around, so they have time to comment, but NOT on me. That hurts me personally.
- I have my demons. Sometimes I can silent them, sometimes I cannot. Most of the time, the loudest is named ENVY.
- I put myself last, in everything. My family’s my first priority. I gave them all until the only thing that left’s in me are crumbs that I can barely it. And I realized that somehow it made me tired.
I am now naked in front you so it’s time to clothe myself with space and grace.
Space and grace
oh, I’m in dazed.
Can you clothed
my naked mind’s maze?
Yes, oh yes
I am a choice
you can still make.
Here’s your dress
to embrace the real you.
to choose what’s right and true.
Here’s your shoes
The courage to accept
you’re far from perfect.
The courage to bleed
when you’re smashed and wrecked.
Here’s your crown
The grace to pick
your broken shards.
The grace to not just breathe
but live your life.
Space and grace
oh, I’m amazed.
Please remain within
my mind’s clothed maze.
©2016 Rosemawrites@A Reading Writer. All Rights Reserved.
Photo credit: Indulgy