Sitting still
in a steel stool,
she begs, weeps
for one more second.
–
Endearing,
exquisite enchanter,
ends first cry on
her life’s first second.
–
Captured candid
cheesy charade,
changed by sudden
death in a second.
–
Old oak observes
ordeals, orbits of
earth’s occupants’
every second’s beat.
–
Nervous nerves
never needed,
not in a stage
she owns for one second.
–
Dream desired
delivers disappointment
deserves encouragement
for just one more second.
–
Sorry, seconds could
not be stolen, saved so
snag, snap, smack
sing, spin, swing,
stay…
every single second.
—
©2015 Rosemawrites@A Reading Writer. All Rights Reserved.
Photo credit: Magic4walls
In response to Writing 101:
Day 4: Seconds by @rosemawrites
(Yep that’s me! :D)
A new life sees the world for the first time. Simultaneously, another life takes its final breath.
A passenger that was supposed to board a plane was one second late. Hours later, the plane went missing, the passenger saved.
Unimportant as it may seem, a split second can change our lives in ways we can never imagine. So today, write about the basic unit of time, seconds. Reflect on those few seconds when a loved one was in a life-and-death situation. Relive the few seconds when you held your eldest child for the first time. Recount those seconds when you were waiting for big news that was about to change your life.
~
such a great use of alliteration…beautifully written
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Thank you! 🙂 Appreciate it.
Did you see the hidden message? 😀
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Yes…that all these things happen at the same time, in the same seconds…and the alliteration ties it all together…
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Yes. That’s it! 😀 Thank you so much!
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🙂 you are welcome!!
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❤
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Yes the alliteration is awesome! So is the developing “definition” of seconds and what happens in their brief span which changes with the stanzas and the alliteration. 🙂
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Thank you, Mel! 🙂
I have one question, is this post unclear? Are there parts that can’t be understood?
I hope to hear your honest feedback. 🙂
Thank you, Mel!
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This is just… FABULOUS! 😀
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Is it understandable? Please tell me honestly, Fun.
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They are different stories, happening at different places, within that second. This is what I perceived: begging for a second chance, newborn baby’s first cry, RPG game, nature, stage fright, feeling dejected due to unrealised dream (somewhere around that line). Did I get the right feeling?
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Yes, yes, yes. 🙂 Except the RPG game. 😀 the third stanza is about an instant tragedy.
But still… I am just so glad that you understand my poem. Thank you!
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Oops! Haha…I thought it’s RPG game where one second he’s is fighting and next second killed! LOL! Watched too RPG game lately! 😀
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Haha! But that actually made sense, Fun! It’s indeed applicable to RPG! 😀
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😀 😀 😀
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❤
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Agreed, love how you used alliteration in this piece 🙂 You did your own prompt justice!
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Glad I did! Thank you, Clarissa!
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You’re welcome 😀
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❤
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Rose I couldn’t understand your poem but the one that was used for the prompt was something very real
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Thank you, Melo. Sorry if my poem is hard to understand.
Technically, this post is composed of 8 poems. They are all about seconds. 🙂
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Good to know. I am not quite related To poetry so I don’t think its a night deal if I don’t understand
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That’s okay. 🙂
Thank you! Don’t hesitate to tag me with your response. I bet it will be good. 🙂
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Very nice. I loved the alliteration and assonance. Your poem had a nice rhythm. I liked how each small stanza described a ‘second’ a moment in time. The one about the stillborn baby or baby who died at birth is particularly sad. And then you tell us to stay to spend a second thinking it all through. Very nicely done. I noticed you wrote the prompt for today kudos!
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I don’t know why but I haven’t replied to your reply, eh? Sorry!
Thank you for your insightful thoughts, Mandi! You indeed notice the little details, and I just love that about you. 🙂
Yes, Day 04’s prompt is mine. 🙂
Thank you again, Mandi!
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Oh it’s fine. There are probably a lot of comments for you to reply to. Thanks for the compliment. And You’re Welcome 🙂
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Yay! Thanks again, Mandi!
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I really like your writing! Wow! It is wonderful!
Baby’s first cry, sudden tragedy.. It’s cool!
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Thank you, JC! Appreciate your words a lot. I was kind of afraid that my poem isn’t understandable…
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No, no not at all ^^ Amazing work!
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Although I followed last poetry course, and should know better about it, I’m not very good at it to comment technically. But you had pros above giving you an excellent review.
I can simply say how your words touched me softly and deeply for the story-like structure of your stanzas have a common thread that anyone can recognize from those tough seconds of their life journeys. Beautiful!
And congrats for the prompt.
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Hi there, Lucile! Thank you for your kind words. Your thoughts touched mine as much as mine touched yours.
🙂
I’ve read your own poem and I would say it is equally moving. 🙂
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Hi Rosema! Thank you so much for reading mind as well and for your lovely comment. Much appreciated.
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You truly deserve it, Lucile! 🙂
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You have shown a mastery of skill here my dear lady. I could visualize the changing scenarios as if it was a movie clip going from room to room. Fist bump you did a great job on this prompt.
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Really? Is it clear? Like, really?
🙂 🙂 🙂
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It was clear to me. I read between the lines and the visions that your words created.
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You are just brilliant, Jacq. It is always a pleasure to read your thoughts. 😀
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((hugs))
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❤
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Lovely vignette, my dear. Well done 😀
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That’s another term that I would want to hear. 🙂 This is an acrostic vignette poem with alliterations. 🙂
Thank you, Annie! You did my prompt justice, too! 😀
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You’re welcome, and thank you 😀
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Yay! 😀
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It’s totally clear to me! It’s an acrostic, cleverly done, RoseMa! I saw it at once, when I read it just now. Beautiful imagery, nice (if a little too much) alliteration, and a very good acrostic in your poem!
🙂
Cheers!
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YES! Finally! I’ve been waiting for thay word ‘acrostic’! HAHA
You’re just brilliant my dear!
And your work is just as awesome!
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[…] Day 4 Writing101: Poetry. Prompt by Rosemawrites […]
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I got it on the second read. I’m afraid the first time I just took in all the impressions and sensations. And appreciated the hidden seconds, hidden because they happen between persons who are not near each other at all except in cessation and resumption of life. Then I got the second (pardon the pun) hidden seconds in the second (pardon the pun) reading. The dominance of certain sounds within each stanza. Everyone above seems to have gotten the acrostic faster than me. Good work! Thanks!
I’d like to nominate you for the Sunshine Blog Award. Anyone who commutes the way you do deserves an award (and an express monorail). You write so brightly and hopefully. Your commentary’s cheerful, too. Here’s the link to my blog entry with the rules and icon for the award–
https://clcouch123.wordpress.com/2015/12/10/sunshine-blogger-award-my-nominating-process/
Hoping you don’t mind, Congratulations!–Christopher
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I love all the pun you have here, Christopher (And thank you for giving me the name of the face I frequently see in my posts! 😀 )
Thank you for your insightful thoughts, as always. 😀 And for your kind words!
I surely appreciate the awards, Christopher. 🙂 Thank you sooo much!
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You got to my soft-spot. I love alliterations the best from Poetic Devices. A golden Star definitely!
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Yaaaaay! Really? I didn’t know that! 😀
Thank you for reading! You’re like a light that lit me up whenever I see you here! 😀
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