I have to see her before the day ends.
I have to do it before the sun sets.
I am shaking inside as I slowly twisted the smooth metal door knob.
The smell of disinfectant welcomed me. My wrinkled skin quickly felt the cold and sterile atmosphere of the room.
I can hear nothing but the continuous ‘beep’ of the machine that I cannot really look at, yet.
I gaze around and took my time in perusing the benign prints painted with uplifting colors. No matter how many minutes I look at them, they remain ineffective.
I stared down at the almost-white and completely dustless floor.
My heart is racing. I don’t know if I am ready to take a few more step.
Inhale. Exhale. Deeply. Again.
As I went near, the smell changed. I know I am now near you because the sweet vanilla scent is now within my nose’s reach.
Oh, you smelled that way since I first saw you, 50 years ago.
I stopped at the edge of your bed.
Your mattress looks comfortable. But I know you still prefer to lay on the bed that we shared until that fateful day when your sick brain nerves snatched you from me.
I finally seat on the stainless stool beside you without looking up, yet.
Inhale. Exhale. Again.
I slowly raise by heavy head and finally see your face. You are not as young as before but your look will always be the loveliest in my eyes.
Age has never worn out your beauty, but those tubes somehow distracts me.
I stare at your face as my old hand search for yours.
I hold your always soft but now cold hand. I squeezed it with all my remaining strength wishing that your eyes will open when you feel my warmth.
I looked at you for a second, a minute, an hour. You never moved. You remained still.
I knew that the fiery red sun is now slowly sinking beneath the horizon as the orange and red streaks of light illuminate your lovely but emotionless face.
I kissed your hand and whispered ‘I love you’, for one last time.
I reached for the machine’s button.
The beeps stopped. The sun sets. My hope ends.
This is in response to Blogging University’s WRITING 101 Day 14 Assignment:
Day 14: Recreate a single day
You might sense by now that setting limits on your writing can be both liberating and productive. You’ve already experimented with word count and timed free-writes in previous assignments, so today let’s try something new: write a post that takes place during one single day.
Can you relate with my main character?
Have you felt the safe grief?
Please let me know.
🙂
~
Why shut off the machine? Was the patient dead? Why was s/he left unattended?
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Thank you for your questions. 🙂
The patient/the wife is in a state of comma.
She was left unattended because the husband is coming. 🙂
Thank you again.:)
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I love the “inhale exhale” parts adds more feeling to it, like I myself am part of the story. lovely read this was, it stings too which means its really lovely 🙂
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Oh. Thank you so much1 😀 Yay. I am a newbie in writing fictions so you’re word means a lot! 😀
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This is the kind of emotion that I like to call the silence of grief! It was light, yet heavy laden with feelings of love, loss and a sweet past. Well done!
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Oh, even your comment is full of creative yet meaningful words, Jacq! I am honored. 🙂 Thank you so much!!
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You are most welcome 🙂 I enjoyed reading it.
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😀 Thank you again, Jacq!
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🙂
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Hi Rosema, I think this is a lovely work of art. Shows a lot of creativity. I haven’t done my Day 14 assignment but I would do it soon.
Keep it up!
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Oh, thank you for reading and for the king words, glover! I hope to read yours, too! 😀
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i just found myself biting my nail when i was at the part where he was reaching for the button. i was like.. “Noooooo!!!”
hahahah! 😀 i really admire your talent for words.
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Really!? Yay! Thank you sooooo much! Your words just melt my heart. 😀
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Oh no! It is so sad. Reminds me a little bit of the old couple in The Notebook. Well written as usual !. Deep breaths included. 🙂
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Yes, it was sad. I tried feeling the emotions of my character, too. 🙂 It was quite hard because I haven’t felt this kind of grief yet, but thank you for your words! 🙂
I have read the Notebook and watched the movie too and yes, I can see your point! 😀 I now think that this piece is the effect of Sparks on me! 😀
Thank you! 😀
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That feeling of emotions is the art of a true storyteller. Very well-done! 😀
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Oh, I cannot thank you enough now! 😀
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Great take on the assignment! 🙂
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Oh, thank you Annie! 😀
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I could feel all the strong emotions here. Well done.
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Oh, thank you Jennifer! 😀
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A beautiful poignant reflection! Deeply touching with details and imagery that brought me inside the room and the many emotions associated with helping a loved one die in a peaceful and dignified way.
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Oh Carol! Thank you for your touching words. 🙂 It really took me some courage to write this because I have no basis. I haven’t experienced this yet. Yay. Thank you.. really. 🙂
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Beautifully written. You do have a gift.
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Oh, really? 😀 My heart just melts. Thank you! 😀
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Keep writing! 🙂
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Yay. I will! Thank you so much!
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My pleasure. 🙂
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Beautiful and touching post =)
And yes I felt safe grief before and it revived me
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Oh, you’re just the sweetest, Nadine! 🙂 Thank you!
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very touching. Did this happen to you personally? sitting beside a love one as the pass.
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Not really. I have necrophobia. So I don’t think I can sit beside a dying person…
Thank you for reading! 😀
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Wow. That was beautiful. t seems we are like minded : I wrote a similar piece for the same assignment but from a different angle (http://wp.me/p4aeIw-pX). Did you write from experience ?
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Hi there! Thank you for reading my story. I read yours and yes we almost have the same idea but we have written in different angle. 😀 Yay!
No, this isn’t based on experience. Actually, I have a dream/wish to write a novel about enduring love, and this story will be my ‘opening scene’. 😀
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Yeah ! you go girl 🙂 I’m sure your novel will be beautiful. Count me in if you’re looking for a beta reader 🙂
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Oh… I am not so sure, yet! Haha. I think I am not ready to write a novel just yet. 😀
But, thank you! 😀
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You’re welcome.^^
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😀
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[…] poignant post by another Writing 101 colleague, Rosema Writes: A Reading Writer. Her post unlocked memories and made me realize that I have been thinking about my mother’s death […]
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This is just so sweet. :’) Thank you so much, Carol! And as what I have said in my comment, your memories with your mother and your strong love for her made me cry. :’)
Thank you. My heart’s about to burst now.
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Very well defined agony of a loving husband. Very well done. All the best for your novel.
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Thank you Indira. 😀 The novel’s… still in my mind and I have no intention to write it yet. 😀 Because I don’t think I can. 😀
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[…] questions from him. And yes, I have written only two poems: Dearest and One; and two fictions: Endings and Forever’s […]
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