My task is simple.
Determined, I walked towards the old yellow bus that will leave before 10 a.m.
I sit still. I need to focus. I have to stop thinking. Because I may have doubts.
——
We finally gave our final kisses.
This is not our last goodbye but I can’t stop the tears.
I ended our tight hug and finally let go of her.
She then finally went inside the yellow bus.
She will be leaving before 10 am to finally pick the dress that she will be wearing on our wedding day.
I would like to come with her but she refused.
Because she wanted it to be a surprise.
—–
I hate seeing people who kissed in public.
In my own country we never do that. But here, I think it’s normal.
“Stop.” I tell myself.
I have to focus.
This yellow bus is leaving before 10 am.
I should leave earlier.
——-
I stayed waiting for her yellow bus to leave.
I stand and blow air kisses as she look at me through the not-so-clear window.
I would never ever let go of her lovely brown eyes until a man with a blue cap bump into me.
I look at him, straight to his eyes.
He looked at me, too.
But I stopped staring because 10 am is near, and my love will be leaving.
———
Finally, off I go.
I wanted to run. But I didn’t.
I walked briskly amid this busy city’s humidity.
I reached my final spot.
Far from what will happen.
But near enough to see the yellow bus.
I waited until…
———-
I waved unceasingly as the yellow bus went away.
I stopped when she cannot see me any more.
Until…
———
Scream. Sirens. Blood.
Almost no traces of yellow bus was left.
This is in response to Blogging University’s WRITING 101 Day 13 Assignment:
Day 13: Compose a series of vignettes
Today, tell a story through a series of vignettes (short, episodic scenes or anecdotes) that together read as variations on the same theme. They can each be as short or long as you see fit — they don’t have to be the same length — but they need a common feature to tie them together, whether it’s a repeated phrase, a similar setting, or the appearance of the same person.
Yay!
This is yet another new writing experience for me.
So, please take time to share your feedback.
🙂
~
huhuhu! too tragic 😥
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Ow!!! That was fast. Thank you! 😀
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just logged back in after a hearty meal then the first entry i saw on my Reader was yours 🙂
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Oh. Thank you to your reader! 😀
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Lovely!
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Really? 😀 Why?
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I loved the simple human feelings that you drew out. The kisses, the goodbye, the chaotic accident, all the reactions. The lovely statement was in the art of your writing not as a reaction to the event itself.
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aww. Thank you, Jacqueline. 🙂 Thank you so much! :-*
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You are welcome 🙂
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When I read something, I try to picture it at the same time. I felt the thrill of the kiss, the anticipation of seeing the loved one and then the horror of the crash all pulled in. Maybe lovely might not be the right word but splendidly done!
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I cannot thank you enough, now. 😀 Really!
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Well done! The vignettes flowed so well together and I could feel a suspense building that held my attention but didn’t give the ending away. The use of repetition was excellent, too. Great piece 👍
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Really? Like, really???
I am flattered and touched! This is my first time ever to write such piece and my heart is just melting while reading your comment. Thank you! 🙂
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YES, really! Isn’t it beautiful trying something new and learning about your abilities? I’m trying to do the same. There’s so much power in experimenting with new things; you never know what gifts you’ll discover 😎
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Yes! That is actually true. 😀 I have no regrets in joining WRITING 101 because I am now discovering myself in ways that also surprise me! 😀
Good luck to both of us! 😀
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i’ve read this 3 times. first just like how u normally read a story, cover to cover. then read it again but this time only with the guy’s perspective then the 3rd with the girl’s. kudos on this masterpiece.
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Thank you!!! Thank you so much! 😀
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you’re welcome 😉
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:-*
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Nicely done – the vignettes are like puzzle pieces coming together.
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Yay! Thank you, Sonya! 😀
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my pleasure 🙂
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🙂
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I wish I could write like this. =)
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I know you can, Diane! Just discover yourself. I never thought that I can also write this piece but I did. Why? Because I tried! 😀
So try and you will surely discover things that you are not aware that you can do! 😀
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Yeah, that’s what I’m definitely doing right now. ^__^
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Yay. Good luck! Be brave! 😀
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Wow!!!!! I like the links between the different perspectives, the dress, the kiss and the bus. Great job! and a sudden twist at the end!
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Thank you so much! Yay. This is the first time that I tried this kind of post so, your words are really heartwarming! Thank you!
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It is interesting to me that the bus is yellow. Here in the USA, the buses that take the children to school are yellow. So I keep thinking you are writing about children.
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Oh, I never imagined that. 😀 Here in the PHL there are just very few yellow school bus. The bus on this post refers to a public bus. 😀
Thank you for reading!
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Very nicely done. Loved it.I’m still to figure out how to write vignette.
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Oh I know you can do it, Indira! 😀
I also checked out some examples before I was able to write this.
Thank you for reading! 😀
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Emotive and wonderfully done. Loved it
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Hi there, Emma! Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed reading it! 🙂
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I really did x
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😀
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Nice! You introduce the image of the yellow bus and keep it in our minds throughout the piece (but without forcing it).
Glad this prompt offered a new writing experience 🙂
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Hi there, Cheri! Thank you for reading! I am wishing to get a comment/critique from you and Susan and now I finally get one!
Thank you for the assignments, too! I never thought that I have the ability to write such pieces so thank you! I am discovering a lot about my writer-self because of you and this Writing 101 course! 😀
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Well done Ro 🙂 Papa will be proud.
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Aww. I can’t help but smile! Thank you!
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This was a great piece of writing. It certainly held my attention. I knew something was going to happen but not sure what. 🙂
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Hi there! Thank you for reading. 🙂 I hope you enjoyed my reading my work. 🙂
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I enjoyed it very much. 🙂
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Yay. Thank you!
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🙂
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Ooh, this was lovely. Short crisp sentences made for very dramatic pauses and effect. A tragic ending but I think I anticipated it. Loved the writing style! Great job! 😀
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Really? Thank you! I think the ending is kinda obvious? 😀
Thank you again! 😀
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Great work! I saw that it was featured as an example in the Commons 🙂
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Yay, yes Annie. I was really surprised. 😀 Susan just told me. I almost cried because… I don’t know anything about vignettes so it’s really unexpected.. 😀
Thank you for reading and for the kind words, as always. 😀
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Great work on your vignette, I still have no idea how to write about one
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Oh thank you, Nadine! It’s like writing chunks of stories from different angles. Or writing a story of different people that all have a recurring theme or things. 🙂 I know you can do it!
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Thank you for believing in me =)
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You’re welcome 😀 You should believe in yourself, too!
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[…] The Yellow Bus by The Reading Writer. This sweet and tragic story was written as a series of vignettes with one common aspect – the yellow bus. Check out Rosema’s other posts too, she is a wonderful and enthusiastic writer and we relate with each other on many things. Rosema is a such a sweet girl, you’ll love her blog and writing style! […]
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Awwww! This is just sooooo sweet! :’) My heart’s about to burst now! 😀
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[…] Source: WRITING 101: The Yellow Bus […]
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Reblogged this on MARION G. and commented:
Loved your Post on “The Yellow Bus”, so I am reblogging it.
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Very well done, it is suspenseful and honest. 🙂
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YAY! Thank you! 🙂
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sad… 😦
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Hi there! Thank you for reading. Sorry for the sad ending, though. 🙂
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Hi! It’s not a problem…It’s sad but refreshing at the same time. Refreshing in that it’s not a predictable ending. 🙂
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Yay! Thank you so much! 😀
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This was so well done! How did I miss the bus in September!
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Yay! Thanks so much, Thomas! There are a lot of great vignettes last September, so I will not hold it against you. 🙂 Thank you again!
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I know! I missed the yellow bus! Excellent.
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Thank you, Thomas! I am flattered with your words. 🙂
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