WRITING 101: GENTLEMEN, no more?

From: adventuresofalabornurse.com

I thought last night is a lucky night.

I was able to finally get a bus seat for that one-hour ride bound home. That seldom happens because usually, buses are full and I have no choice but to endure that one-hour ride, standing.

As I start reading Everything, Everything, a man sit on my side.

As a woman, I sit straight. 

To my surprise, he looked at me with a menacing eye and went to another seat.

I was puzzled. I think he thought I don’t want him beside me. 

Then later, as the bus continues to pick up passengers, he went back at my side.

To my surprise, he don’t just sit. He jostled me until I almost cannot breathe.

He kept on hustling me on the side until it become too uncomfortable.

I tried to ignore the pain in my arms that his weight is almost crushing.

I kept on reading despite the pain.

But he is insistent.

As he put almost all his weight on my left arm, he opened his Facebook account and posted:

Okay lang naman mag-bus wag ka lang makakatabi ng maarteng babae…

“I don’t have problems in riding buses not unless I sit beside a bitchy woman…”

That’s the only part that I was able to read.

Then he’s laughing. Because his post got a lot of comments.

As I sneaked, I’ve read some comments from women like me.

They are having fun that that man is jostling a woman.

They are lauding and encouraging him to keep on hustling me.

He continues to laugh.

He even looked at me with a dirty grin on his face to see if I can read how he degrades me. I can see that through my hindsight.

I stayed quiet. I kept on reading. I never let him notice how crushed I am.

But I am crying inside because I felt so helpless.

I felt so degraded.

I felt so little.

“Is that really how a man should treat a woman?”

Please give me the answers.

Because I am still shaken.

This is in response to Blogging University’s WRITING 101 Day 12 Assignment:

Day 12: Play with word count

In today’s post, pay attention to the total length of your post: if you usually write posts under 500 words, aim for longer. If you tend to write a lot, be succinct.


This is not a FICTION. This incident happened to me last night and until now I can’t stop shaking.

This experience is just so traumatizing.

I seldom post long stories but I did.

It’s because this is the only way that I think can help me rebuild my self-respect that has been shattered by this incident.

Do you have the same experience?

Please, let’s talk.


54 thoughts on “WRITING 101: GENTLEMEN, no more?”

  1. Rosema, it was a terrible incident. Unfortunately such incidents are all too common in India. I think such men should caught and shamed. I believe that they don’t respect women because their parents never taught them to…they were either too busy making a mess if their own lives, or were as uncouth and uncivilised as this creep who made you uncomfortable. I can’t fully appreciate what you are going through, however I think you must not waste another minute of your precious life on that cockroach. Try.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Omg! The guy is such a feeler. He just want to show off to his facebook friends how cool he thinks he is that he can harass you like that. And those people tolerating and commenting to do it more, are no better than him. That’s why I don’t open facebook anymore because of those kind “of people” who keeps on commenting without any knowledge of the real story. Such a shame. I’m glad you’re okay and that he didn’t hurt you physically. What a shame to those kind of guys. Really.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I think this kind of incidents happen everywhere. It happened to me before too. I stood up and scolded the fellow in a bus full of passengers. These people are just sick to the core. Don’t waste your precious brain cells on them.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Ugh, what a creep! He was probably trying to get some type of reaction out of you. Living in NY, this incident happens very often. Some guys just think they can do whatever they want. I’m super vocal, and I usually just end up threatening them with some type of bodily harm (which is probably not the smartest idea, but it works for me). I’m glad that your okay!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m grateful to hear that you are unharmed. It’s appropriate to feel scared. It is traumatizing to deal with people who are intimidating bullies – people who seem to find pleasure in causing fear and harm to others. They do exist, and as a lovely sensitive woman, I’m sure it’s something you will need to be able to handle. Like you, when I was young I tried reading and ignoring them, but it didn’t work. I tried making myself look unattractive when I traveled by bus – wearing my thick glasses, wearing grubby clothes, and that really never worked either. I had to learn how to walk “tough” and speak out to protect myself. I send you healing thoughts, and again, I’m glad you are safe.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. A low life that he is.. that’s all he can do. Maybe you can think of him as a person who doesn’t have enough power – maybe he doesn’t realize it but it’s right there in his subconscious mind – and the only way he can feel all powerful and a “MAN” is by being rude, insensitive, pathetic, disgusting man that he is and the pain he can inflict on others! Really really sad 😦 I don’t quite understand how they come to be such pathetic people – Is their upbringing and education to be blamed? Sometimes yes, other times no. I have read few incidents where guy(s) come from a decent family, have had a good education and even have good careers, then why do they become like this? Anyway… Don’t waste even a minute on this. Next time this happens, either yell as loud as you can or just go tell the driver, if he is in a position to do something about it. I am glad you didn’t break down in front of him because that would given him more pleasure and he would have felt more powerful. Glad you are safe back home. Toughen up girl – at times like this – you are your own knight in shining armour!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Same stuff happened to me at metro. The friends were in metro with him watching us and laughing at me. Then I started to yell at him asking what he wants. They were around 20s. Everyone stared us and then they somehow walked away and changed their seats. I cannot believe these things happen all around the world.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. You did the right thing in not letting yourself fall into his sick game. It was a difficult situation for you, but you stood your ground. Showing that you are tough women in the outside, but not letting him know you are hurting inside. I know that riding the bus can be difficult, even I get scared riding at night. Someone commented above about carry pepper spray, that a good idea.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. i hope you’re ok already. can’t help but get annoyed how the guy treated you. but at the same time pity.on.him. what he did was cowardly. he vented out in facebook because he doesn’t have the damn (excuse my french) balls to directly tell it to you. but don’t worry, there’s still a lot of guys out there who still have good manners in them.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. My dear, these incidents happen a whole lot to lone women I can assure you and it is really a bad thing. I think a whole lot of these never do wells have deep issues that they have to deal with and they only let out their inferiority complex and angst on women. No! They never pick on men their size. Sorry about that, I don’t swear a lot but somethings almost make you want to swear. He is just a miserable human and might end up being a hopeless husband and father to those who are unfortunate to end up with him. Let’s be thankful that it wasn’t worse than this. Regards

    Liked by 1 person

  11. One thing that woman share in common no matter where we live, is that we are still, despite gains, second class citizens. I am so, so, sorry for your traumatizing incident involving a man who thinks we are just things to be played with, or touched or treated like dirt. Find solace in the fact that you have support here and I’m sure with other you know, and that so many woman have gone though things like this and never told anyone, Thank God not all mean all like this! He probably has a small you-know-what and needs to overcompensate to feel like a man.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. It must have been awful to endure this, you have been very brave to keep on reading like it didn’t mean anything to you. Don’t let the low lives like him dictate how you live your life. You are not alone!

    Liked by 1 person

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